In class with a Cougar

Oh the year was 1998 or so and I was a non-traditional student at the famous Clayton State University in Morrow, GA. Night classes were cool and gaining my education was a great challenge after a hard day’s work!

I had a full load and was taking 12 credit hours for the semester. I had an English class that had a fair bunch of students, very similar to me, trying to achieve a goal of higher education.

My professor for this class was a distinguished and savvy black woman, who was educated and established with the university. We will call her the Doctor to protect the innocent.

The Doctor reminded me of Earta Kitt on Boomerang, and when she spoke, she gave a regal tone as she fully annunciated her words!

The Doctor would assign us various papers to complete and I was always on the last minute vibe of turning in my work.

The holiday season was upon us and the Doctor assigned us one last paper to turn in before the semester end. Well, I was late and did not print my paper off after leaving work.

I arrived to class that evening with somewhat of fear and thinking of an excuse to turn my paper in the next day!

It was mid-week and I was thinking that if I can persuade the Doctor to give me grace, she would let me turn it in without penalty. I arrived to class purposely late to give my pitch to the Doctor.

I told the Doctor that I had a busy day visiting properties and with the Atlanta traffic, time was not on my side to print the paper to turn in. She gave me a distinguished look and with a slow and calm voice said, “you will have to turn it in to my house”. Now if you said that with a Lady Eloise voice, you should be ashamed of yourself.

So off to Fayetteville, GA I go to turn my paper in to the Doctor! She lived not to far from Evandar Holyfield house, so you know her pad was kicking! I arrived to the circular driveway and pulled up to a white stucco home, with the accent lights highlighting the exterior elevations of the home. It was getting slightly dark and it gave a prestige look to the home.

I knocked on the door with expectations of meeting the man of the house, but there she was! The Doctor appeared in a different setting, with a laid back semi-formal gown on as if she was about to attend an event.

I said, “Thank you Doctor for allowing me to turn this in at your home!” She gave me a look as she took the paper and said, “wait a minute, I will place this in my study” As she floated away, I started to look around and it was my first time I laid eye on an ivory white, baby grand piano. I thought to myself, “damn!” Then I started to think about the movie Boomerang, you know the part when Marcus had to have dinner with Lady Eloise? I continued to scan the interior walls and notice an oil painting of the Doctor with her back and her face looking over her shoulders. She had the look, with short hair and deep chocolate skin. Then I couldn’t help but to notice the 15ft white Christmas tree in the foyer, with the soft white lights. As my mother use to say, she was shitting in high cotton!

So the Doctor returned from her study and said, “So what kind of a paper you think you just turned in?” Y’all need to stop with the Earta Kitt voice! I replied with my usual over confident self and said my paper was flawless and started to joke about her grading my previous papers. She gave a soothing laugh and said, “ I was only trying to push you to be a better writer!” As she placed her hand on my shoulder.

Then it all hit me at once, I thought to myself, I’m caught up in a lair of a cougar and I have no way out. Yeah, I was still in my twenties and the Doctor had to be late 60s! This was a sure A for the semester! However, I made a great escape as a call from my girlfriend came, asking me to come over and hang some curtains.

I thought for a second, hanging curtains, or playing a song on the baby grand with the doctor? It was a quick thought y’all, I wanted to secure my A in English for the semester!

Nonetheless, I did the right thing and left the lair of the cougar. The Doctor gave me a C plus for the paper, which knocked my grade down to a B minus for the semester class. Lesson, never turn in a paper late!