If My Son Ever Asks ‘Was I an Accident?’ — This Is What I’ll Say

It was just another workday. I was on my lunch break, April had the day off, and we were sitting in the living room watching TV. Nothing dramatic, no background music, no movie moment — just us. Then came the test result, but not from a drugstore kit. We’d gone to the hospital for this one. We wanted it to feel real. Official.

And it was.

We were going to have a baby.

We hugged. We smiled. We felt the excitement rise in our chests — and I remember thinking, “Okay… this is actually happening.”

Not by accident. Not completely unplanned either.

But also… not exactly perfectly timed.

The Pressure We Didn’t Talk About

Truth is, we were already starting to feel the pressure — the kind that creeps in quietly. The kind no one really talks about out loud.

We weren’t getting any younger. We knew it could happen. We had stopped using condoms and figured if it’s meant to be, it’ll be. But there’s always that little voice in the back of your mind whispering, “But are you really ready for this?”

And the honest answer?

No. Not entirely. Not financially. Not emotionally.

Not in terms of freedom, travel, or chasing our boldest dreams.

There were still so many things April and I wanted to do. I had career moves I hadn’t made yet. She had dreams that hadn’t taken flight. And suddenly, this idea of freedom — this image of “finding ourselves first” — felt like it was slipping through our fingers.

The Shift That Hit Me Hard

The excitement never left. But it wasn’t until those final weeks — the hospital visits, the check-ups, the scheduled C-section — that it started to really land.

I was about to become a dad. For real.

No turning back. No pretending life was going to stay the same.

And then, BOOM!, it happened.

Elio arrived.

And everything that I was scared to lose… didn’t matter anymore.

Because what I gained was bigger.

The Sacrifice They Don’t See

Let’s not sugarcoat it — there were sacrifices.

Still are.

We don’t have family here in Canada. It’s just the three of us.

No backup. No breaks. No safety net.

There were days when I looked at the life we could’ve had — more flexible, maybe more fun, maybe more selfish.

And I wondered… Did we give that up?

But then I look at you, Elio.

And I know we chose this.

We didn’t lose a life — we built one.

And we’re building it with you, not around you.

What I’ll Say If You Ever Ask Me

If one day you ask, “Dad… was I an accident?” —

I’ll tell you this:

You weren’t planned to the minute, but you were meant for this life. We didn’t see you coming, but we were waiting for you without knowing it.

You arrived in the middle of our figuring-it-out stage.

We were trying to build careers, grow as people, and just breathe.

But when you showed up, it was like time paused and rewrote everything.

You made me a father. And somehow, made me more myself in the process.

So no, you weren’t an accident.

You were the best interruption of our lives.

A beautiful, chaotic, sleep-depriving, soul-expanding interruption.

And I hope one day, you feel how deeply we chose you — not just once, but every single day after.

PS: I Brag About You All the Time

You’ve already taught me patience. Taught me to let go of timelines.

And if you catch me grinning at strangers when we’re out, it’s because I’m quietly saying, “That’s my son.”

Even when I’m tired. Even when I’m stressed.

Especially when I’m proud.

You were never an accident.

You were the beginning of something bigger than we could’ve planned.

And I wouldn’t change it for anything.