I’m Tired of My Marriage

Being married is so tough, even when you’re in love with the person you’re married. Seeing the same face, day, in day out, it’s exhausting.

I’m in a difficult situation because I have a 15-year-old son, and I’m married to another man, not his father. I’m so tired of being in this marriage, and it’s only been two years.

I wake up each day and feel like packing my bags and leaving, however, I think of my son because he really wants a father figure, his real father has severe mental health issues and is currently in a psychiatric hospital. I didn’t know he was mentally ill when I started my four year relationship with my son’s father, he was perfectly fine at the time.

When I gave birth to my son, all hell broke loose.

He went from being kind, compassionate, and loving, to this agressive shell of a man. He would scream, stamp his feet, smash up our apartment, and smash head against the wall. Until one day I snapped, packed his things, and threw him out into the streets. It was snowing that day, I was tired. I couldn’t take it anymore.

Anyway, fast-forward, six years, and I met my current husband. He was my Uber driver. We got on so well, he’s the quiet type. The chilled type who rarely gets angry, but there’s this silent abuse that takes place each day.

He demands respect, but refuses to give respect himself. Here’s an example of his weird, aggressive behavior.

It’s my son’s birthday, I take my son for afternoon tea at a local hotel, just the two of us.

When we return, I sit down to tell my husband about this idea that we came up with for Christmas.

I said:

“Babe, during afternoon tea, we discussed this really cool idea for Christmas gifts this year.”

My husband’s response:

“We’re a family, we should discuss these things together, you think you know everything, you don’t have a right to discuss these things without me being present.”

It was literally an idea for all of us to give one gift that we ask for, and two surprise gifts.

This means that we all get three gifts each.

He refused to listen to the idea and said that my son and I should exchange gifts and he doesn’t want to be involved anymore.

Another story:

It’s New Year’s Eve and I’d watched an inspiring video by Mel Robbins where she talked about an excercise she does with her family before New Year’s Day. It’s a great way to decide how you want to show up for the new year.

I explained the whole thing to my husband and got angry.

He said:

“Why can’t you come up with your own ideas for new year instead of copying someone elses?”

I’m like:

“Wow, this is a really cool idea, what do you mean?”

He went on to scream about how he’d rather come up with his own plan instead of copying some random woman on the Internet.

So, here’s the thing:

My husband doesn’t have a job, he sits at home all day while I work my fingers to the bone building my online business. He doesn’t do anything but scroll on TikTok morning and evening.

I’m so tired of the marriage but for some reason, I don’t know how to get out of it. I’ve filed for divorce once, but he refused to sign the documents. I want to pack up and leave but at the same time, I’m scared of being on my own with a 15-year-old son.

I had a health scare last year and if my husband wasn’t there, I could have died. He pretty much saved my life, but I really don’t feel the connection that I felt with him before.

I don’t know what to do right now, but my head feels like it’s about to explode.

I regret marrying this man.

If you’re in the same situation, I pray for you.