Dear Mom,
I never had the chance to say I forgive you…
My biggest secret is I forgive you for your misunderstanding of me. I was always a wild and free spirit dancing circles around you. Maybe as I grew up and lived my own life and had children of my own, just maybe you didn’t have the nerve to object to my free will. My free will spirit that would not conform to societies rules and norms. I forgive you for not knowing me for the beautiful and strong woman I am today. I forgive you for not taking the time and effort to know how I have changed and matured. I forgive you for assuming I was still that child dancing in circles. I forgive you for not realizing the pain you caused when you ghosted me those three long years ago. I forgive you for taking my child from me, not knowing how this brought me to my knees and for not knowing about the many nights I cried myself to sleep.
I forgive you for not knowing the independent powerful woman I have become.
I forgive you for seeing me through my mistakes and not for my successes. I forgive you for believing that you were only right and I was only wrong. To understand why you misunderstood me helps me to understand myself more and Reasons you assumed helps me to understand why I assumed things about myself and why at times i see myself unclearly. What I have learned in my life is that we reflect upon the world what we hold inside of ourselves. So knowing this I can see how you misunderstood me so greatly. Your mis understanding was because you held confusion and the pain from a life time of trauma in your own heart and mind and this was your way of looking at me.
Believe me it was not easy to forgive you. To choose this path is hard. To fight against my own soul that said “NO” I can never forgive you! But still I forgive you for not knowing this beautiful, strong, independent, powerful woman!
What I realized is that if I did not choose the path of forgiveness then I would never be free. As I thought further about forgiveness and what it truly means, what I realized is, it is not so much about me...as it is to forgive for the next generations to be free. To forgive you sets me free and gives the next generations the opportunity to live in peace.
As I parley in the south of France I realize that I sit in the country of our ancestors and this leads me more to believe I am here to heal and relieve past generations of patterns of betrayal and pain. I believe it is far past the time to take off these glasses of illusion and pain and walk into the future with an open heart and open mind.
But I have another secret 🤫 that I never got to share with you. I run and play on the beach with my children! I tought my son to swim, dance, and to sing! I tought my children to have respect for there elders and for all beings around them! I wish you knew this. Most of all I wish you could see me clearly as you have tought me through your misunderstanding to see myself clearly. And really I think you do know me as this FREE spirit that loves to be free. I forgive you and ask you to forgive me!
💜
Love,
Me
About the Creator
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