I Delayed Dating for Too Long

I spent most of my 20s hiding.

Hiding behind work.

Hiding behind “I’m too busy.”

Hiding behind the lie that someday I’d be “ready” for love.

Then, last year, a stranger online changed everything with seven words:

“Life doesn’t wait for you to live it.”

Ouch.

Let me explain.

The Waiting Game

I thought love was like a math test. Study enough. Practice enough. Then you’ll pass.

So I waited:

• Until I lost 20 pounds.
• Until I made more money.
• Until I felt “confident.”

But the longer I waited, the lonelier I got.

One night, I saw a TikTok of a 70-year-old man slow-dancing with his wife. He said, “We met at 15. I’m just glad I didn’t waste time being scared.”

My throat tightened.

How much time had I already wasted?

The Comment That Broke Me

I posted online: “Is 30 too old to start dating?”

Most replies were kind. But one man wrote:

“Yes. You missed the bus. Everyone else is already married. Good luck.”

It felt like a punch.

But here’s the truth:

He was wrong.

And he was right.

What He Got Wrong

Love isn’t a bus you “miss.”

It’s not a race.

And no age is “too old.”

My aunt met her husband at 52.

My coworker found love after divorce at 45.

Hearts don’t expire.

What He Got Right

Waiting does cost you.

I missed:

First dates that turn into inside jokes.

Late-night talks that make your chest ache.

Learning how to love before life gets complicated.

The longer you wait, the heavier regret gets.

Why We Wait

We’re scared.

Scared of:

Rejection. (“What if they don’t like me?”)

Getting hurt. (“What if I cry?”)

Not being enough. (“What if I’m… boring?”)

But here’s the secret:

Everyone feels this way.

Even the people who seem brave.

How to Stop Waiting

Talk to One New Person This Week.

At the grocery store. On an app. Anywhere. Say anything.

“Nice weather.”

“Cool shoes.”

Just start.

Go on a “Practice Date.”

Tell them upfront: “I’m new to this. Let’s just get coffee.”

Most people respect honesty.

Wear the Outfit.

That shirt you’ve been saving for “someday”? Wear it to the gas station.

Confidence grows when you stop waiting for “perfect.”

What If It’s Too Late?

It’s not.

But the longer you wait, the louder the fear gets.

Dating at 30 (or 40, or 60) is harder. People have baggage. Kids. Exes. Trust issues.

But so do you.

Love isn’t about finding someone “perfect.” It’s about finding someone who says, “Me too. Let’s figure it out together.”

The Gift of Starting

Last month, I went on a date.

We ate burgers at a diner with sticky tables and neon lights. I spilled ketchup on my pants. He laughed and said, “That’s why I always wear black.”

He told me about his fear of pigeons. (“They’re just rats with wings!”) I told him about the time I cried over a burnt grilled cheese.

It wasn’t magical.

There were no fireworks. No violins. No “You complete me” speeches.

But it was real.

Real is:

• Laughing so hard your stomach hurts.
• Admitting, “I’m nervous,” and hearing, “Me too.”
• Sitting in silence and not feeling like you have to fill it.

Real is messy. Awkward. Imperfect.

And real is better than waiting.

Because waiting keeps you stuck in your head.

Real pulls you into the world.

It’s the smell of fries.

The sound of his voice.

The way your heart beats a little faster when he smiles.

You don’t need fireworks to feel alive.

You just need to show up.

P.S.

If you’re reading this and thinking, “But what if I fail?”

Fail.

Fail messy. Fail awkwardly. Fail gloriously.

Because failing means you’re finally living.

P.P.S.

That man who said I “missed the bus”?

I wrote him back: “Thanks. I’ll take the next one.”