I am 22 and am not ashamed to admit that

1) I could not clear my master's entrance exam and dedicated an entire year to the process which led to physical and mental burnout. I took a few months off after taking the exam to figure out what I wanted from life.

2) I have 3.5 years of experience in content writing and have worked with various big names in industries like edtech, journalism, media, mental health, feminist organizations and psychology. I also have been internationally declared as the best writer and have been awarded as a top poet of the country in various contests and competitions, yet I struggle with self-doubt and imposter syndrome time and again.

3) I am still studying for my master's and am trying to get into my dream university but find myself caught in the cycle of comparison from time to time. It takes a social media detox from time and again to remind myself that I am on my journey.

4) I mostly work and study from home and do not go out often. Most of my days are spent either working or studying and taking care of myself and I don't have an active social life. I also don't meet my friends very often and sometimes it is as rare as once a month.

5) I have had failed friendships and I am still learning to let go of the hurt and pain that came with it. Being an ambivert, I don't have a lot of friends and cherish the few I have very close to my heart.

6) I am horrendous at drawing and painting, so when I was in school I would barely pass the creative arts subject.

7) I am a creative person and sometimes I suffer from perfectionism, I self-reject a lot of times and this leads to less consistency especially when it comes to my social media.

8) Growing up, I was bullied in school and was ashamed of my body. I had very low self-esteem and suffered from body dysmorphia, but growing up I have learned the importance of loving my body and have never felt more secure in the way I look until a few years ago.

9) I am a very impatient and overachieving person and set high expectations for myself. This often leads to me being burnt out and not being satisfied with myself.

10) I am 22 and I have invested myself in writing, reading, poetry, consulting, market research, journalism, mental health, and mentoring and still donot have a clear idea as to what I want to do with my life.

Everything that happens, it does for a reason. In moments of grief and uncertainty, I want to erase all of the ounces of grief, mistakes, errors and pain that led me into nothingness. But as I look back on the journey of life, I would not like to change any part of it. I always thought that if I steered clear of any roadblocks or dejections, or kept it under the stark anonymity, my life would be easier.

But truth be told, I much rather have a life full of mistakes and roadblocks and pain and darkness than live an existence that belies to have no essence of being alive. I much rather risk it all and put all my heart and soul into it than play it too safeBut as I lean into myself and take each day as it comes, I am starting to realise that your journey is yours and you can lead the course of your life the way you want to, whether it is steady as a gentle breeze or swift as the glaring wind, it is your existence, lead it the way you want to.