How can you benefit from the habit of comparing yourself to others?

As humans, we have many innate qualities that we have no right to cultivate. One of these qualities is comparing ourselves to others. No one has escaped the motivational words, proverbs, books and articles that prevent us from adopting this habit. But we compare anyway, and in different aspects of our lives: luck, money, intelligence, beauty, physical appearance, and even culture. Although comparing ourselves to others can be a destructive habit at times, we can refine and refine it to align with our principles and goals in life.

Here are some steps to help you benefit from the habit of comparing yourself to others:

1. Be happy, not envious

No one benefits from the instinctive, unconscious comparison fueled by the ego. Hating others and wishing for blessings to disappear from their lives builds barriers, removes your humanity and makes you feel disconnected from those around you. Because a person feels what is in the hearts of others, he will feel what is in your heart, which will push him away from you, and then enter the circle of loneliness. In psychology, these feelings are called “relative deprivation theory,” which is the feeling that you are less than everyone else. These feelings will only get you backwards.

Know that you are not less than others. You may have the same talents as others, but they saw them differently. So, be happy for others and support them; so that you can find support and love as you start your own journey.

2. Turn envy into inspiration

The first thing you should do in this step is to consciously recognize the comparison trap. Pay attention to the feelings of envy as mentioned above and do not let them control you, and always remind yourself that this comparison is only a way to motivate you and push you forward.

The next step is inspiration. You should focus on what you particularly like about the other person. For example: If you admire the personality of your colleague at work, highlight the specific qualities that you admire. If you find yourself admiring his self-confidence and ability to overcome difficult times, you have been inspired by some qualities that you should develop in yourself, which are enhancing self-confidence and the ability to endure difficulties.

3. Think about what you need to achieve the same result

As I mentioned above, you may have the same data that someone else used to achieve their goals. For example: if you want to have an athletic and attractive body, you both have a starting point, which is the body. But the difference here is that the other person has started implementing and exercising, eating healthy, staying away from fast food, etc. while you have not yet done so. There are many examples in this regard, whether in professional success, which requires you to hone your skills and identify your strengths to enhance them, and your weaknesses to fix them. Or in education, culture, intelligence, beauty, etc.

4. Avoid Ego Deception

Do not rejoice in victory when you compare yourself to others, it is a false battle created by the "ego", and relative satisfaction is just the other side of deprivation. What drives you to brag may take you out of the game when things turn around. For example: if you are excessively proud of your appearance, and you feel that you are better than everyone else, what will happen when someone else comes and sees you better than you?

Having other people who are less important, smarter or less beautiful than you is not an achievement to add to your list, it is a natural and essential thing in life. Instead of bragging and pointless comparison, you can enhance what makes you unique and harness it to reach the best version of yourself or inspire those around you.

5. Know your value and do not underestimate yourself

It has become clear by now that the correct concept of comparing yourself to others is “inspiration” and not self-destruction and aspiration to live the life of others. Do not underestimate yourself or accuse yourself of failure, weakness and inability while looking at others as if they are capable of achieving what you aspire to. The resources may be the same but the circumstances are different.