His Secret

Everyone’s secrets vary; but the deeper you dig within the more you realize. I have messed up pretty bad. But in a way I don’t regret it because of the result. I remember when I first met him. Tall, dark hair and a surprising lack of expression. He seemed like a military man being as serious as he was. His eyes seemed so innocent looking and clear but it truly was just a mirror for he wouldn’t ever let anyone into his soul. After his interigation I was given the permission to be his partner. But still his eyes were still a mere reflection. His laughter seemed so realistic and his kisses seemed genuine as his lips played with mine. It seemed as real as the Bright blue sky. We were expecting a surprise within no time at all not long after the new year. Every witness who saw us said it was unlike anything ever witnessed. The physical affliction was so real the surprise was surly the symbol of our love. But not long after the surprise he changed. The midnight was present as I fell victim to his true nature. He casted all love and passion aside and took what he desired. Only thing present was my flesh and my soul which broke. My mind and body numb, my voice gone. Silence fell and bleeding physically. He threw himself aside as I tremble upon the carpet till I felt the cold tile of the bathroom. All I saw was red, just red against the white tile. My mind failed and crawling into the shower. Stiches torn. My body weak and here I lay. As my vision goes black.

His mother hid his secret and my doctor did not report the incident.He left not long after. I had my surprises and my simple joys were still with me. My soul healing and very humbled. Life was simple and excelling on it own. Sun was shining every morning and everyday my surprises filled my heart and soul with peace and love. Things seemed well until he showed up at my door. Wanting to speak and apologized for leaving me weak and soul broken. Rebuilding my broken dreams that I had for my family. Alone. Even after he apologized and I thought our love rekindled. Far from it. It was a dim kindle more smoke than flame. Even the smallest things like holding his hand or Kissing his cheek he didn’t feel it necessary. I was so wishful with my rosed colored glasses. He held my dreams above my head to make sure I did the one thing he wanted most. Obey him.

I questioned him all the time and if ever stood up for myself he would shove me back down with feelings of unworthines, shame, and disgrace. With cuts on my tongue and blood leaking from in between my teeth. I never thought I would be so scared. But the day I found myself blessed with another surpris. Tears filled my eyes, not from love or joy. But, from uncertainty and fear. I was right to fear in the end. Not knowing of his other lady in black. He blamed me; even though it’s what he wanted in the end. Ending his “ Bachelor Life”. I gained a new title for myself. His Secret.Forbidden to tell the world unless I wanted my world Destroyed by his hand.

Shaming me to no forseeable end About our surprise; our son. He saw him as a curse, for I held all of my children dear no matter what end. They only deserved love. But it wasn’t enough for history was soon to repeat its terrible tragedy in our final chapter. All the love in the world wasn’t enough for later I found; my other could never truly love. No love for me, no love for our child. Neither love for his other lady of the night. Until I found his other secrets and his intentions I found his false truths and greeds.

No more lies, no more lusts, no more greeds...forever I pray for his end and enlightenment which would never come.