Games People Play

I don’t think I’ll ever understand the games that people play in this dating world. It’s utterly ridiculous!

I mean I really hate having my time wasted by someone who is on a dating site, they see what I want and I require, they match me only to be on some bullshit!

I don’t want to be a text buddy, I don’t wanna be a phone buddy, I definitely don’t want to be a fuck buddy… I want to actually date! That’s the whole purpose of me setting up my profile and matching people!

When you set up your profile, it ask you what you’re looking for! It allows you to see what the other person is looking for! So I am completely and utterly baffled as to why someone would match me who doesn’t plan to meet and who just wants to have sex!

Yes, I’m quite aware that some of these apps are hook up apps. Those are the ones I try to stay clear from. Like for example, I’ll never go on plenty of fish ever ever ever ever ever ever ever again! Like I would never get back on Tinder again. I met somebody on Tinder who I fell madly in love with but they never felt the same. Hell, they didn’t even view me as a friend. That shit hurt. I won’t be going through that again. 

As a matter fact, I went through that with three people I met on that app. Two of them I had a relationship with and one I did not, but wanted to.

I try not to let my experiences taint me, but that was a three strikes you’re out situation for me and I was good on that site. On there, the first person I met strung me along for 10 months and never really committed to me. I was new to Atlanta and I didn’t know how they are here. Anyone who gets offended by what I’m saying, screw yourself because they are certain way here. That’s 100% fact! If you try to tell me that the men here don’t take advantage of the ratio of women to men and completely at the fool, you’re lying. He ended up having two kids back to back with someone he complained to me about. I just cackled at him ending up in a situation like that. That’s wtf he gets! 

The second person was a terminal cancer patient. Even HE had the AUDACITY to a narcissistic jerk. He used me make someone else jealous unbeknownst to me. He did me dirty and died alone because she ran through his money and dumped him.

My third strike was a guy I was head over heels with for three years and he played me for all three of those years. Yes, I did love him to pieces but he didn’t love me to pieces. Hell, I don’t even think he liked me honestly. Thinking back on it now, he didn’t like me, he used to me. There was a meme that said they got to know you and they didn’t like you and I really feel like that’s what happened with him but when I asked him, he could’ve been man enough to tell me. Yes, I specifically asked him that on more than one occasion and he was not honest. Hell, I was dumb enough to think that because he’s a transplant like me, he’d be different. No, he just got here and started acting like dudes here.

So, you can see why I am standoffish about dating sites. It seems like every time I get on one I get a person like those and now I meet one who doesn’t want to talk, FaceTime or actually meet but sends me mixed signals like they do. I can tell you one thing though, if the conversation steers to sex, he’s all in! So that tells me everything that I need to know.

Finding someone that I love who loves me the same way is going to be like finding a needle in a haystack but I’ll be damn if I don’t find it!

I’m not giving up hope but I’m also not going to let somebody string me along and play games with me anymore. I have done that far too many times and it’s time that I was responsible and I own up to my part in allowing things to happen. I am never going to be so desperate for love again that I allow these things to occur. That’s part of my responsibility in it.

Another thing that people who want to date me need to realize, or actually the one who are “pretending” to want to date me is, at this current moment I’m abstaining. I didn’t say celibate, I said abstaining. So if your mission is trying to just fuck me, well you’re in for a rude awakening because I’m not doing that.

The reason that I feel like I need to abstain is because I know what I want from somebody mentally, emotionally, romantically… And it’s more than just dick! I am not confused about how to have sex, how I like to have sex, how to give some good sex… None of that’s a mystery to me! I have not experienced romantic dates, romantic gestures, Meeting family, meeting friends, having a label and it’s real, I’ve experienced closeted BBW lovers and I never wanna experience being kept in anybody’s closet ever again, I want to experience being loved out loud… That’s the kind of stuff that I am missing out on. I don’t have any type of bond with anybody or a friendship with anybody so why the hell should I fuck them?

I want somebody who’s not playing games to take me out of the game! That’s what I want! I’m not gonna settle and I’m not gonna think that I’m requiring too much when I’m not! To whom much is given, much is required. So you getting all of this but you don’t expect to have to give anything in return?

No, that’s not how this works.

That’s not how any of this works!

I don’t wanna be a player no more… Take me out the game, Coach!