Former Muslim Apologist Inside the Secular Closet!

When I was a Muslim apologist I took an oath to win a debate with secularists and Christians and expose that to the world using new technological tools (e.g. social media, e-forums, etc) by the end of 2021. I prepared for this goal around 20 years, from studying Islamic doctrine, Hadith, practising debates etc. I was very insistent about achieving this goal, that is, defeating and turning the tables with secularists and Christians in debates in the UK especially that they were our ex-colonial administrator.

I urged secularists and Christians in the UK to debate, they always avoided that, which made me feel that I am really invincible and different, and thought that there is no doubt that I will win any future encounters. My ego went to the sky and I put plans to disseminate the result of the debate after the victory happens. Unlike the old days where news travelled slowly, the Internet has made debate results widely available. YouTube, Google, Reddit, Wiki and social media platforms. I wanted to be a "hero" of Islam who is going to make the change.

I continued asking secularist and Christians to debate and I insisted on that to fulfil my oath before the end of 2021. They finally agreed. The result of the debate was shocking for me! They answered all my questions and I could not answer any of their questions. I was thoroughly defeated and I lost. There was no way to escape because I initiated that. I admitted my full decisive defeat and exposed my plans. So, the results are objective and the case is complete.

There was a consensus that my plans should be applied on me. In the same way Muslim scholars present newly Muslim converts on stage as a proof of their apologetic approach, secularists and Ex-Muslim societies and even Christians had every reason to present my case as a strong counter example. In fact, given my background and aims, it was very fair to do that. In addition, the case is objective and the results are complete because the defeat was admitted. For this reason my plans were applied on me: the case was presented with emphasis on defeat and without courtesy which is fully understandable and encouraged, because in debates there are winners and losers and we want to present Secularists as winners -- a well-deserved achievement for them.

The discussions in UK had deflated my inflated sense of importance and overconfidence. I was a devout Muslim, however, behind this mask laid a fragile content which was vulnerable to the slightest criticism. It was like a hot-air balloon, it may appear large but it was empty and easily deflated. I stopped debating and defending Islam. I admitted and accepted the full decisive defeat.

Instead, I favoured to use all the knowledge that I have of Islamic doctrine to demolish it in a proper and systematic way. Ironically, all the gained knowledge about Islamic doctrine will now be put to serve this goal. An example case study and a lesson to be learnt by conservative Muslims.

Merits of the case:

1. It was I who initiated the debate with the secularists and Christians. Planned for that around 20 years, and vowed to win.

2. It was fairly easy for my secular and Christian opponents to prove me wrong -- can provide proof from Islamic and non-Islamic resources.

3. Unlike most encounters where both parties claim victory over each other. I admitted my full decisive defeat and the victory of my opponents which was acknowledged by them. Thus, the results of the debates are objective and complete.

4. It is an ex-devout-Muslim who is going to explain the wrong ways of Islam and tell his story, not an atheist, or someone from another religion or even a fledged young Muslim who is newly introduced to the faith of Islam, but someone who studied the faith very well.