Dear Mommy Dearest

Dear Mommy Dearest,

I remember the day where I began to look at you differently, I remember the day where my respect for you slowly started to go away and the pain from realizing why cut so deep I never thought we would ever be the same again.

It was the day I gave you my first finished manuscript, I wanted you to edit it. Do you remember the smile you gave me saying "I will take a look at it when I get the time."

I remember walking away feeling so proud of myself, finally you would see me, you would see my talent, my heart and soul that I had put into the words written on the pages that I wanted you to read so badly.

Sadly days passed and I never heard a word from about my manuscript I can remember asking you had read it only to get "oh, I have had the time I will read it though I promise."

You promised me that day and then never kept your promise as one day while walking out of your bathroom I caught a glimpse of my manuscript sticking out of your junk drawer, that wasn't even the worst part it was the fact that it had a old tea stain ring on it which told me that you had put your cup on it at one point.

That was the day that I knew my dreams never meant anything to you, that was the day where my heart broke and I wished that people in my family could see the real me.

I never told anyone about this day what was the point just so I could be told that I was being dramatic, just to be told that my words didn't matter which is something you would later tell me only further proving that the words of encouragement about my writing were nothing but lies. As long as I am doing what you want me to then you have no problem with my dreams of being a writer however the moment that I stop doing what you want that's when your true colors come out and the venom from your words hit me like I had just gotten punched by Mike Tyson.

I will always love you mom however my respect for you is gone and the pain you have given me over the years sits in my heart like a poison. I wish you all the best but telling you my hopes and dreams will never happen anymore as I don't trust you wont try to use it against me. Happy Mother's Day, I know that I didn't say when it was on the day however neither did you and I am mother just like you are but I guess that is another thing that i can add to my list of things that you will never see me as.

I wish there was a time machine that could take us back to that day, for us to rewind to where I could tell you how i felt finding my work with that stain.

I wish that it was me that you could support as you have had no problem supporting my siblings but never me.

Then I realized that being the black sheep of the family you will never be understood. You are not meant to. For what life has for you will be more hard than being accepted by people who are in your family.

I will always have hard lessons to learn and maybe one day I will be able to truly forgive you for the pain you once caused and sometimes still cause until then I will continue to live for me and break the chains that held down my family for many generations

Love,

Your Broken Daughter