Dear Disrespectful Racist

Dear Narcissistic POS,

It all started when you came out of training at a job. I had offered a hand to help set up your desk, so you didn’t have to get onto the floor. I did it for all the older people who were in your training class. I’m not sure how we became friends by only having small talk back and forth when I was helping around the call center when there weren't enough supervisors.

I wasn’t a supervisor, but you acted as if I was. And I did my best to help you. I had defended you to others because you smelt awful. I had to remind others that we didn’t know what your home life was like, and boy… I was ever so right.

You had told me that you lived with an abuser. That he had physically harmed you. That he was a "piece of shit that never paid the bills and would get useless things." You said the house you live in should have been condemned a long time ago because of him and that there were roaches. I told you that this was the perfect time to leave since you had just gotten a job, to save up and get out of dodge.

But something didn’t sit right with me when you didn’t leave.

When it came time for you to meet my family I had warned them that you were old fashioned and said old fashioned things. However, I never knew the full extent of it until you insulted my family the day you came to visit. My sister had been raising her kids just fine. However, you insulted her parenting skills - because she didn't resort to hitting her children the minute they acted up.

When you met little man for the first time you had called us lazy because he hadn’t learned to walk yet. Little did you know, we had been trying everything to get him to walk. He would just crawl around because he had confidence issues at a very young age. It wasn't even two weeks later he was confident enough to take his first steps on his own.

You called us lazy for letting him watch educational television shows. Those television shows were music-based, something he loved and they taught him how to talk almost clearly at the age of two.

All in the same day, you also insulted my brother-husband who has been my best friend of almost twenty years now, my husband, and my niece (who was only three at the time), because of their Mexican heritage.

That struck a chord with everyone. But we let it go, because...you're older and honestly we felt sorry for you because of all the sob stories about your mean oldest son who doesn't let you interact with his child. You immediately started trying to insert yourself as a grandmother figure to these children without even knowing their mother or them.

This summer, their eldest son from Texas (10 years old) came for his summer visitation and we all went to the dam. You had seen something in the public bathroom at the lake, apparently a Hispanic little boy going into the girl's bathroom. You went ON AND ON about how "BEANERS are disgusting and need to stay in their fucking country." Yet again, you insulted the Mexican heritage once more.

My sister became distant then because you were ignorant and racist toward her daughter, her son, her husband, and my husband. You even said believed that we should still have segregation to an extent and how "n-words" were all lazy and didn't deserve "the freedoms that they don't realize they have." We were HORRIFIED!

You then brought up the alphabet mafia (your words). Our entire house is full of allies to the LGBTQ+ communities. Your anger and hatred were unbiased and ignorant, and you didn't even have a reason for it.

You hate simply to hate. To have something to complain about.

We are people who have feelings and bleed the same color. We all live in the same world. We aren’t different from others of color or sexual orientation. Inside we are all the same.

You're racist, ignorant, small-minded, and you're so uneducated you questioned us when we were uncomfortable you cutting RAW meat with the same blade you were cutting the COOKED meat without washing it!

You had also told me that people couldn’t suffer from PTSD unless they were a war veteran. WOW. I suffer from PTSD. I was put through a traumatic experience. My sister and my husband also have varying forms of PTSD. Sexual assault and childhood abuse do that to a person.

You called us pussies and wimps. That we were so "self-absorbed." You said we wanted to be “special” when we were "nothing special."

I suffer survivor’s guilt from the cancer I had that took away my ability to have a family. At our new job, there was a patient who called in with the same kind of cancer I had. Except hers is terminal. I sobbed that day. It's not fair that I get to live and that woman doesn't. That's how I feel.

You told me that I shouldn’t be crying, to suck it up and it's part of life. You have no clue what I have gone through with my cancer experience. I suffered.

Maybe cancer is a part of life. But I am not a monster who doesn't understand the suffering that others are going through - unlike YOU.

The straw that began to break the camel's back:

I had started vaping and was going through the vapes like wildfire. My family had a small intervention with me about me going through them. They didn’t care that I was smoking. It was how fast I was going through them and how much money I was spending in such a short amount of time.

Of course, I got hissy pissy. That happens when you are told something you don't want to hear. Still, I needed to hear it. My sister was worried about my health, since I am a cancer survivor, and my husband was worried about our financials on top of that. I understood they were in a place of love and worry.

As my friend, I went to you to vent . When you found out about this you tried calling my husband to yell at him. You acted as if I told you that they were being mean and were trying to control me. I was just frustrated with myself and the situation. I had gone to you in confidence. I needed to vent to a friend and you violated my trust.

The next day you went out of your way to purchase a vape and handed it to me after I had specifically told you not to. Your words were: "If they have a problem with it, they can ANSWER TO ME."

That day you told me to meet you at Walmart because you 'had bought me lunch.' Something I had told you not to do - because I was aware of your financial situation.

I was on the phone with my husband and when you found out, you antagonized him about it. “Do you want to say something about the vape that *I* bought her?”

He got off the phone quickly. He was so mad, that Sis knew something was up. He had told her to ask me about it once I got home. And she did. So I told her what you said and did. That’s when she uninvited you to the circus she had kindly invited you to because your son had 'disowned' you and you were upset about it. The pity she had for you was gone.

You had interfered with family affairs and you did it maliciously. You had tried to shove a wedge between myself and my family. I waited until you had gotten off work because I know of your medical issues, if they are even real. I didn’t want to stress you out at work. So I stayed awake until you got off and broke the news to you. I was the one to tell you the news because my sister was a big enough person to admit that she didn't think she could be respectful or kind to you if she was the one who did it.

My sister had every right to determine what kind of person she wanted around her children. And she admitted that she could understand why your son had disowned you and kept you from your grandson. "I could see how her son wouldn't want her around his kid. I don't want her around mine!"

You had already shown us you were rude, ignorant, and racist. And now you were gaslighting me, going off on me, over something someone else had decided. You shot the messenger with gaslighting tactics, even insinuating that you were going to kill yourself because of it. And that's when my sister knew she made the right call.

She talked to me about the way you were treating me and opened my eyes to the abusive situation that I had found myself in.

From that moment on, you were always putting my sister down and "how she did you dirty." Afterward, I felt I had to walk on eggshells at work.

Fast forward to a few days ago. Winter is coming and I messaged your son because over the summer he had left a piece of shit motorcycle here.

I had messaged him about WHEN he could safely come to get the bike. He wanted to do it that day. I made sure he knew that I didn't expect that. I just wanted to know if he had plans before heavy snow struck or if he was waiting for the spring.

He said that was fine because it was the warmest it had been and he had agreed with me to get it before the heavy snow hit. He had sent another message stating that he was scrounging up money for the trip. When he said that I said: If you don't have the money, don't come. It can wait. It's fine, I just wanted information.

You then messaged me saying: "I thought you said I didn't have to worry about the bike." I again explained I was just asking when he thought he could.

I warned my family that you would be coming. My sister had said: "She needs to stay in her vehicle. My babies are here, I will call the cops and press charges for trespassing and harassment if she starts acting stupid." She didn't want to expose her children to drama. She was also worried about keeping her own temper in check.

I passed the message along nicely: "Sis says to stay in your vehicle." You threw a temper tantrum, claiming that if you can't help then who going to help your son?

Your son would have gotten help from one of the husbands, whether it was mine or my sisters. Not only that, but you can barely walk supposedly because of your back. What exactly where you going to help with?

I was at work when all this was happening. The truck broke down. Your son had respectfully called me, and let me know what was going on and that it wouldn’t be that day. I told him that was fine.

I could hear your snide remarks in the background, but I ignored them. About an hour before I got off the clock, I received a message from you that set me off. “Hope you are nice and warm. We put the rest of our money in gas. Now we sit here in the dark freezing with no way home.” You were a coward and blocked me after you sent that message.

I didn’t need the stress at work and I was going to message and see if you two had gotten the truck up and running and if not I was going to offer a ride home. Responsible adults don't spend their last dimes on a pointless trip they can't afford!

Then you had the AUDACITY to unblock me minutes later and DEMAND money for the vape that you'd given me out of spite. That joke was on you because I had already sent you money a few months prior.

When we worked together you mentioned the bike constantly, saying: That bitch better not do anything to my son's bike. Every week you had to say something, just so you could get a verbal insult out about her.

Your son was more of an adult than you were and he’s only nineteen. I am disgusted by how a fifty or sixty-year-old woman reacted. You call us children but the real child in this situation was you.

Sis had one more nail for your metaphorical coffin.

I had told your son that he had forty-eight hours to get the bike because I was so done with everything about you. However, my sister talked me off the ledge and told him not to worry.

She’s a better person than I am. Because that bike would have been sold three days ago if it were up to me. Sis wanted to show your son that there are better people in this world than you, she wanted to be an example of what a good person does in a bad situation.

"I don't punish good kids just because their mum's a crappy human, sis. I want him to remember this in the future so that he can have an example of what being a decent person looks like."

Now that you are out of my life completely I’m so much happier and guilt free. I can go on and not worry about anything. I don’t have to walk on eggshells because you and your son got yourselves fired, so I can finally breathe.

I now have a better idea of the red flags that I should avoid in monstrous, horrible people like you.

No respects,

A freed person from your grasp.

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