Cleaning someone else's hair off the bathroom wall

Checking fees

read part 1

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I learned how to deposit checks with my app, like before, so my paltry paycheck fixed the immediate fear but the prayers are worse. I still wonder what I forgot.

Cleaning someone else's hair off of the bathroom wall

There's been a war over chores for two months. After I negotiated a peace treaty (that went on to be broken), I renegotiated a cease fire. Aka, I do all the chores that go unfinished -- most of them -- when i feel like it.

Unlucky for the combatants, I've been feeling more poorly than usual, and with working as many hours as I do, chores got a pretty big pile up.

After the way the peace treaty talks went (awful) and the way I felt going overlooked doing everything else (numb), hearing two abled adults complaining loudly about dirty floors and dishes undid 6 weeks of therapy on the cleanliness rage ("you may have to learn to live in messy environments" -- hence numb) brought all of that rage back. Then, there was the audacity to tell me when I'm in bed that the dishes are only my fault, so, even though it isn't supposed to be my chore, someone else won't do it.

The attitude was unneeded because I already planned to do them as my science class I taught made a rather large mess, so, the rage kept me up and now, what?

I clean their hair off the shower. I do two loads of dishes. My partner fixes the shower. Maybe I'll go on to just stop after this, after all.

Therapy homework

I'm a fixer of problems. Its always been my assigned role.

I hate it.

My homework was to stop fixing things.

I had a surprise client scheduling issue that gave me a free morning after my own scheduling issue (vomiting from pain, the clients realized how sick I was and told me to go rest) I did a few crafts. It helped the rage expel itself somewhat to make something beautiful again.

VENTING

I apologize for venting to him. "I'm just trying to help you". I've done what was put off in 10 minutes and in a rage that once again, something that takes nothing is ruining my well being.

I should stop talking. I didn't need a solution, I needed to talk. I needed to sleep. I needed promises to be honored, and I learned to stop expecting those things.

Being disabled but I work 10 hour shifts,

listening to adults complain about 6 hour shifts because their feet hurt and they won't do anything to take care of them.

Do you want a solution or do you want to vent

I need to take my own advice. But I have to fix everything, too. And I can't listen to the venting when I'm so angry at them all that all I want to do is scream.

Luckily today almost everyone is angry at me over the dishes last night and has left me alone rather than monolog at me.

Strike; say everyone stop cleaning and I'll fucking do it

When I'm fucking ready.

I'm not supposed to do that either, but I'd rather it be stated explicitly that I shouldn't rely on these people. Work my shifts. Clean the house. Make sure there is food I like, or basics like milk and eggs. Let them get attitudes with me with a disinterested look that makes everyone more angry.

Except him,

he says he never gets angry.

He's just made me terrified to complain because the silent treatment is a huge trigger for me. Better for me to stay silent, anyway, now. My venting about how I'm treated, how I feel, even not about him, is too much.

Am I the one who is too much?

Maybe.

If you wanna give me a follow and a tip while I figure all of this shit out, It would be the most important thing to me. I love you.