Caged

"Is there some place you should be?"

She sat in silence. The expression on her face never wavered. She would not let the outside world know her truth.

"Do we not all have to be somewhere at sometime?" she replied and walked away.

With deep breath... a sense of release from the pressure of the answer. The presence of human interaction had her anxiety on high. Her house was made of glass. As much as she tried to avoid the world, she was locked in a cage being watched by those who wanted nothing more to destroy and form of happiness she could cling to.

On went the day. Another message. Another unwanted social interaction. But in the end, she would go home alone. Sitting on the floor to ponder the real questions of life. Only to ask herself "Why?" A question that will never be answered and only left more questions. But she knew nothing was ever put on your plate that you can't handle. And she built her life obtaining tools to help others use to create a serene calm in their lives. She knew she must use those same resources in her life if she were to have any chance. Reminders of daily affirmations, writing, crafting, reading, and puttering. Pushing herself out of her box to her uncomfortable zone. For she also knew, that no change happens when you are comfortable and can contain consistency. Growth can only occur when you are outside of your comfort perimeter to allow new knowledge and teach yourself new lessons, learn from mistakes and build a larger comfort and confidence within.

Interruptions of noises made from the ringtones of the phone. Comments of beauty and grace. Just left her feeling hallow. Reminders that she was alone. She worked tirelessly trying to stay afloat. But all she was known for was not her character she spent her life trying to build. But her outside features that people recognized. She put away all the mirrors a long time ago. She refused to look at the person she did not want to see. She wanted to feel the beauty on the inside. Feel the warmth of joy when spreading light to another soul. Guiding others on their journey and being a non existent character in her own story. She felt numb, but kept going. Because a ghost is what she was now. Unrecognizable to herself. She knew she was at her last chance at the tight rope.

She had it with the dead hour awakenings. The insomnia, anxiety, depression that kept her restless. Worsening daily, she new there needed to be a change or she would never obtain her own freedom. She new the serenity and hope that she had left to muster she must take it and shut all else out.

So she decided that under the microscope let others watch her story bloom. She would no longer hide who she wanted to be. The truth she would bury all along she would sing. She would tell her story for those who wanted to hear it. But she would not be ashamed of who she is anymore. She may be alone. But she knew that truth and trust in herself would be all the strength she needed. She would block out the darkness and bring in only light that would generate radiance. She would one day shine, and the pain and scars of her past would be just reminders. Her father provided her with the knowledge, will power, strength, and grace she would need to survive in this world. She would never be able to thank him for those skills. But it was her time to now protect herself .She had a story to start, her story.