Caffeine and Chemistry

I had a Facebook memory pop up today from 2022 that I think about often. Even though today is 9/8, I clearly remember this moment from 9/9. It stood out to me because it was a portal day, and Mercury had just gone into retrograde. I was in reflection with a current love interest that felt SO over.

I had been talking to a guy I met for about three months, but it was becoming increasingly clear that he wasn’t the right one for me. I felt a bit sad about it; he seemed so promising at first, but red flags started to appear abruptly. We weren’t serious, but it was at that point where I needed to discern whether this was going to go any further, and it was clear it wouldn’t. It had become a bit exhausting and disappointing.

That morning, I walked into one of my favorite coffee shops feeling defeated and tired, and there was a long line. I ordered a red-eye and patiently waited at the condiment station. There was a guy there, but I didn’t pay him much mind. When the barista called out, "Red-eye for Jen," I began to pour cream into my drink. The guy turned to me and asked, “What’s a red-eye?” That’s when I noticed his sparkling blue eyes and angelic smile. “It’s a cup of coffee with a shot of espresso in it,” I replied. “Whoa. Sounds intense,” he said. “It is! You should try one sometime.” I noticed he was pouring honey into his coffee, which I appreciated because it meant he wasn’t using sugar. “I don’t know,” he said. “I see you adding cream, which offsets the strength, but I’m not a cream person.” I smiled and said, “But you’re a honey person! I’m sure honey would offset the taste too.” “I may have to try that next time,” he replied.

I grabbed a lid, but two were stuck together, and I didn’t realize it. When I tried to put it on my coffee, it wouldn’t fit. I struggled with it for awhile feeling embarrassed while he watched me. I was nervous because I had a crush on him. He noticed my battle with the lid and set down his drink to help me. “Here, let me do that,” he said reaching out, trying to put the lid on before realizing it was two stuck together. He had really playful and light energy. He then tossed them in the trash with a perfect shot from afar, grabbed a new lid, and said, “Let’s just start over,” with a bit of a giggle and a sparkle in his eyes. His smile was adorable, and I loved his vibe. When he looked into my eyes, it felt like he made the rest of the coffee shop disappear. I forgot that other people were there. He secured the lid on my coffee, and handed it back to me. “There,”he said. I thanked him. “Have a great day,” he said “Thanks for the recommendation.”

As I slowly walked out of the shop, I hesitated, wondering if he was single. I really wanted more time with him. He felt fun to me. He didn’t wear a ring, but that didn’t mean much. Should I go back and ask? Should I ask for his number? I’m kind of old-fashioned and prefer to be pursued, so I walked slowly to my car, still hesitating. I was really contemplating hard and it was unusual because I don’t get like that often. The last time I had felt that way I ended up in a 5 year relationship which was a long time ago but it was that same feeling.

As I navigated through the parking lot, he made a sudden appearance, striding out of the shop as if he were the star of a romantic comedy. Naturally, I slowed down to let him cross in front of my car, my mind doing somersaults with the idea of rolling down the window to throw out a question or two. Was this my cosmic cue? The Universe whispering, “Hey, don’t let this one slip away!” Our eyes locked in a moment that made it feel like time stopped as we exchanged smiles and enthusiastic waves.

And then, like the plot twist nobody saw coming, I pulled away.

And just like that, he vanished from my life, leaving me to ponder the great mystery of missed connections and what could have been. I never saw him again. I still think about this interaction. It reminds me of the movie Serendipity. Every time I go to that shop I wonder if I’ll run into him.