Bread and Wine

Best Date Ever

It finally happened! My secret crush and I were going on a date. It had only been 143 days since I first set eyes on him when I knew this was the “one”. Unbeknownst to this dreamy human, I had been working so many different angles to capture his attention and low and behold, one of them worked!

We made plans to go to a cute little French bistro in the heart of downtown Alexandria, a place known for their delicious bread and wine. I wasn’t sure what I was going to order food-wise but did know that it wasn’t going to be anything messy. I’m a bit of a klutz so there’s that.

Fast forward the tape, Evan picked me up right on time. He looked more handsome than I imagined he would and based on my reaction to him when I opened the door, I think he knew how enamored I was with him. I’m not a very good poker player to say the least.

As I climbed into his truck, very awkwardly I might add, I noticed that he was half smiling as I attempted to adjust my skirt so that it wasn’t completely wrapped around my upper thighs. Not sure if that was a good look but at least he was smiling.

When we arrived, we were escorted to a table in the middle of the restaurant. To my left was an older couple and a group of 4 were to my right. Everyone seemed quite engrossed in their conversations and didn’t seem to notice us at all. As we each went to sit down, I said quite loudly (not sure why), do you have a preference for which side of the table you sit on? So much for not being noticed!

The waiter asked us if we’d like anything to drink and we each said at the same time, “Yes please. I’d like a glass of your finest Merlot”. That’s when I knew this was going to be a great night.

When the waiter returned with the wine he also brought a basket of warm French bread. I remember thinking to myself, not exactly sure why, that the crust on the bread looks really crunchy! No sooner did I think that did I break a piece off, took a sip of wine and bit into it. CRACKLE SNAP CRUNCH went my teeth. My eyes popped out of my head and I looked at Evan with sheer fright.

I tried to explain what was happening but my dream date couldn’t understand what I was saying because I was covering my mouth as I spoke. I believe it came across as “Ibitbread$#*#teethout”. I finally just took my hand off my mouth and smiled and bolted to the bathroom.

When I returned, Evan was talking to what seemed like all of the patrons at the restaurant as if they had all watched a movie and were critiquing what had happened. As he paid the bill for the 2 glasses of the finest Merlot we’ve ever sipped, he did his best to act like this was a normal occurrence, but I knew this would most likely going to be a story that he (maybe we) would tell for a very long time.