“Blindly” ripped off

I am a big believer in soul mates and love at first sight, but I guess Todd* already knew that!

Todd reached out to me on Facebook. At first, I was hesitant. I do not usually talk to men I do not know on social media. But Todd seemed different. Todd had suffered an accident many years ago that left him legally blind and he had a gorgeous puppy that was training to be his new service dog.

I let my guard down a little and enjoyed the conversation and the connection that was growing between us. Then Todd asked if he could phone me and chat, and I thought to myself, “Why not, what harm could come of that?”

So, on Monday, we chatted for over an hour about everything and anything. The stars, the moon, memories of our teenage years, the universe, spirituality and my work. Todd was so easy to talk to and he made me laugh. When it was time to finish the call, Todd asked me if he could call again the next day just to see what Tuesday Karen was like. This went on every day until we arrived back at the following Monday and by then it was a conversation that I looked forward to at the end of every day. Our chats lasted hours, and quickly became more frequent during the day until we were talking every chance we could.

Todd told me all about his father, who incidentally was very ill and at the end stages of his life. We talked about the amazing man his father was and the books he has written about the universe and spirituality but never published. Todd told me that he thought I was the one his father had been waiting for to pass on his vast knowledge to. I felt so privileged as Todd’s father from all accounts seemed to be a very wise and knowledgeable man and I was an eager consumer of all things spiritual. Todd said he wanted me to meet him very soon before it was too late.

I felt special. But I guess that is exactly how Todd planned for me to feel.

During our conversations, Todd and I talked of our future together, how we were falling in love and how we both deserved it after much devastation and sadness in our lives. Todd would constantly remind me that I was worthy of being loved and so was he, that this was a sign from the Universe. He even said his father had told him the same thing, and that during our few months of chatting he had had many positive encounters and opportunities arise just from being connected to me. He said he had been blessed with miracles and I was one of his biggest blessings. Todd would always point out all the synchronicities and exclaim how The Universe was making this happen and we had no choice but to follow.

Todd confessed his love for me, and we agreed to meet up in person.

During the next couple of weeks, Todd’s father got very ill, and I agreed to loan some money to Todd so he could urgently visit him. Todd could not drive due to his blindness and would need to take a taxicab and was low on funds so I transferred money to him right away, afraid it may be his last chance to see his father alive.

The following week Todd was sheepish and was a little despondent. When I asked what was wrong, he said he did not like asking but he needed to borrow some more money as he was waiting on his disability pension to be approved and he needed to get more food for his beloved service dog, He did not want to ask and stress his mother at this time with his father being so ill.

So again, I transferred money to Todd’s account.

He was so thankful and grateful and was in tears, and I felt good being able to help during this difficult time in his life.

Chatting to Todd was the highlight of my days, he was in my dreams and my thoughts constantly, and he seemed to know exactly what I was feeling when I was feeling it.

Little did I know Todd was very good at reading people; the plus side of losing his sight I guess, as his other senses heightened to compensate.

The big day came. It was time to meet in person. Both of us had already professed our deep connection and love for one another, so this just seemed like a formality and the next step before we moved in together.

I drove to meet Todd and his beautiful dog Fritz. We went to the park and had coffee. We kissed, we got lost in each other’s eyes for what felt like eternity. I never wanted it to end.

It came time to leave and when Todd and Fritz got out of my car, a sharp pain seared through my heart because I did not want to go, not just yet. A final kiss and he headed inside.

Driving home along the highway with tears streaming down my cheeks, I just wanted to turn around and go back. I called Todd when I got home, and we chatted about our plans for the future and what next steps we would take to make then happen.

The following morning, I did not get my usual morning message and I was concerned as it was not like Todd to forget. When I did hear from him, he sounded unwell, and he was not sure what had happened. Fritz was sick too and needed to go to the vet. Todd needed to borrow more money to have Fritz treated so of course I transferred it straight away, not knowing how sick Fritz might be.

The next few days were a downward spiral as Todd’s father got sicker, and I barely heard from Todd. I was distraught. When I did hear from him, he said he was sorry, and that he had just got scared because of the deep connection he felt to me. He was confused and needed a little time to sort himself out with so much going on with his father and Fritz being ill.

Over the next few weeks we barely spoke. He would text and tell me he loved me, and that everything was ok, he was just doing some healing and processing. He said he usually shuts down to everyone and was in a deep depression.

I offered to be there for Todd, but he declined saying it was his baggage and he needed to clear it.

With very little communication with Todd and not being allowed to help him through this difficult time, I was devastated. I felt like I had lost my best friend, my confidante. I spent days crying and writhing in pain on the bathroom floor as what felt like a huge knife was piercing my heart repeatedly. I was grieving and it was messy, painful and soul destroying.

It was three weeks until I heard from Todd on the telephone. He was in a super bad place and was being incredibly harsh with himself because of a mistake he had made.

Again, he needed to borrow money and promised to have it back within the next few weeks. This was a much larger amount, and I thought about it momentarily but agreed to transfer it if it would be returned. He asked me why I was being so kind and understanding and I told him that I believe in him and it is time he believed in himself, and that sometimes all we need is to be shown we are worthy so that we start to believe it ourselves. I said, “I have complete faith and trust in you”.

I loved him. I was committed to him, heart and soul. Why shouldn’t I trust him?

This ran through my head, over and over as I made the transfer.

I did trust him. I had no reason not to, did I?

I am a kind and giving person and I will always try to help those I love and care for. So I pressed send. Todd was in tears and could not stop thanking me.

I heard from Todd over the next few days, and he seemed to be doing better. He would check in regularly to see how I was doing. A couple of weeks passed, and we had chatted a few times when I noticed that Todd had removed me from social media. When I questioned him, he said that he had not and that I could still contact him.

I felt weird. Something did not feel right at all. So, I did a little snooping.

Surprise, surprise. Todd had been seeing someone else!

That is why he disconnected me, so I would not see his “social” life.

I messaged Todd and asked when I could expect to be repaid and he said he would know by the start of the following week. During this time, his father passed away and I sent my condolences to Todd and his family.

I still had no idea when Todd would repay me, and I had just received news I needed urgent medical treatment that I now had no funds to pay for. I messaged Todd and explained the situation and he said I would have it back by a set date that was approximately two weeks away.

The payment date came and went and when I asked Todd again I stated I was tired of waiting and being toyed with. Todd blocked me and had no further communication with me, touting I could do whatever I needed to do to get the money back!

It was in that moment I realized Todd was nothing more than a gold digger, a romance con artist using his disability to gain the trust of women, and he was recycling through women time and time again for his own gain and greed.

I felt like such a fool.

Especially considering I work with women helping them to leave and stay free from toxic and abusive relationships and here I was welcoming the very same thing into my life.

I was a fraud. How could I face up to what I had just experienced?

It took some deep healing and forgiveness and I now use this experience to show women how easy it is for someone to pretend to be someone they are not and help my clients (and myself) to set clear, firm boundaries and to look out for the red flags.

Would I change anything? No. Regrets? No. Because I know I was acting from a space of love and care for a fellow human being, and I will not allow anyone to change my heart or soul.

As for Todd, Karma always finds its way home.

*Name changed for privacy.