Are You Alone or is Alone a Feeling ?

This may come as a shock to people who know me. Not the ones who REALLY know me, like the friend who can predict my mood before it even happens. Or who knows my inner feelings by the look on my face. Most of the time I feel alone. Even in a crowded room. In fact especially when I’m in a crowded room.

Fake it til you make it. I’ve tried this. I can’t make it to the fake it.

Last October I met a new friend, Gayle. Which was huge for me. I had basically shut myself out from “wanting” or “needing” new friends. I’m a single mom of a youth athlete, who runs a massage business. Who has time for that ?

But Gayle reached out to me at a really vulnerable moment and I accepted her into my bubble. I was literally sitting in my car crying when she text me and asked if I would help her with her business. First she told me I was “so darn cute” and maybe a couple other sweet comments that somewhat eased my anxiety ridden soul at the moment.

I was going through some heartache of walking away from two of the closest people in my life. I was expirencing pain in a way I wasn’t really prepared for. As if you can prepare yourself for any kind of pain.(Unless that’s all you know.) The fact that this sweet stranger reached out and made me feel like I was worth anything at all made me want to help her.

We quickly learned that her husband was my daughters new basketball coach. Another, in his own way, Saint for taking on coaching a bunch of 4th grade girls who weren’t even his own. Without taking any monetary incentives. Who does that ?

Eventually Gayle got me hooked into her business. A business that is made of a majority of women. Women helping women. Not only helping them sell products but helping them learn how to love themselves. Helping them learn that women can rise to the top. Women can work hard from home and not sacrifice missing their kids grow up, or having to take time off work to go on vacation, or empty their cup and go home having given all their energy to people who don’t care about them, having nothing left to give the people who do.

That’s where I’ve been most of my life. Giving all the good I have inside of me to work. And work for less than I’m worth.

I’m still not great at positive self talk. But here I am putting it out in the universe and to anyone who reads this. I am worth it. I deserve peace. I deserve love. I deserve time from other people. I deserve to be financially free. And so do you.

I want to be someone who makes you feel like the most important, the most beautiful work of art in the museum. Because you are.

If you’re still tuned in there’s a reason. Maybe you’ve been that person in your car crying waiting for someone to show them some love. Maybe you’ve felt alone. Maybe you’ve been hurt and need an army of women to lift you up. Maybe you need a side hustle to keep up with inflation. Or maybe you wanna quit that job that has you feeling empty and deflated when you get home.

If you are feeling any type of negativity in your life. You don’t have to. If you are in a rough spot and need some help financially or emotionally or whatever it may be, an opportunity is waiting for you. You just have to accept it.