Am I Enough??

Let's start off with this, i am a woman in her late 40's. Plus sized women and have always had issues with how i look and being self conscious of that. I am pretty enough for a man to take the time to get to know me. Over the years, i have grown to except myself for me, but those nagging thoughts are always there.

I have always had an interest in the world of adult entertainment and this is my thoughts and feeling.

There has always been this unexpected interest in the adult entertainment world. Did these entertainers always wanted to be the focal point of sexual adventures? Who did they think that they would end up being as an adult in this risque world? What made these men and women enter into this kind of business? When did they start? Where were they at in there life to make a decision like this? How do they truly feel about working in this industry?

These are the questions that have always puzzled me. I personally have not met any of these entertainers. I may have conversed with them over social media briefly, but never really got into the questions.

Knowing this, like most people out there, have you ever dreamed of meeting one of those entertainers. I admit, there has been times that i have dreamed of one of those hunky men. Particularly, that tall, dark and handsome man with the decadent french accent. What would it be like just to know him and actually build a friendship?

One stud that does come to mind once and a while and have wished i would be able to meet, seems like he would be a sweet man. Best thing about it, he had a traditional european name and actually make the time to communicate with people. I have had some very brief conversations with said man and have enjoyed these conversations.

I have had the fantasy of one day, being able to strike up an actual friendship and eventually meeting this man. As they say, you could always dream but why couldn't that be a reality. There is no reason a person can't live the fantasy that they have always wanted to.

The scary thing is that i don't think i would have the guts to initiate anything, unless it was done from his end. Wouldn't that be fantastic.

There are always those thoughts of who would i have to be, someone else or just me.

Would this man to even be interested in actually getting to know the real person that i am? Or am i just overthinking a situation that will never happen. Maybe i am in dreamland and just have a vivid dream of another life.

What if though, meeting the man or woman of your dreams through social media does happen. But there is always the but. What would people you know think, if you said that you met this person online and would it actually work. Doesn't matter if it was a friendship or more. How can you let anyone, tell you how you should met people. To each his own.

Fantasy versus reality can be a hard pill to take at times. Living in a fantasy world can be great, but then the moment of falling back into the real world hits. What i am thinking and why would this happen to me? Why shouldn't it happen to me? Every person has those days, whether you are a man or a woman. This world can be cruel, but if you are willing to put that effort in to make this world work for you. Wow, wouldn't that make people more willing to believe they can have what they have always dreamed about.