A little whisper

Hello Readers!!

This is my first story so hope you like it. It's more of a confession or daily random thoughts that I go through, so nothing specific, but is relevant or not is up to you to decide.

You can relate to it if you want or just brush it off and that's totally ok. We as a human do not need to always burden ourselves with other people thoughts or opinions.

Well so here it begins. I'm in my daily routine you know waking up, working out or more like burning out and working, totally unbothered by anyone. But that's my dear reader is a myth. As soon as I start thinking that oh finally an uneventful day, the Universe whispers., wait a minute darling, your day is about to Begin!

And here comes, one after another, the challenges first and then hit the crisis of life with no fruitful result in sight. I'm like ok I'm gonna be ok, it's ok it's fine, it's just another day. And yes, it indeed is Another Day!! I am working, feeling great about myself that oh wow I was able to resolve a problem today, but here comes Mr. X with reasons of returning to office. I mean I really don't understand the obsession. I know I'm a great company but don't miss me too much buddy. I wanted to throw him out of the window like a million times, like here so many things are happening around the globe, blackouts, attacks, safety concerns and what not but me being in office is the top priority still like it's ok Princess we don't need you in office but we want you here, even though the whole team is located elsewhere but still we would very much want you in office. It doesn't matter if you work alone, nobody from team is watching you and we are not going to pay you enough to afford the life you want but still you need to travel for 4-6 hours in total to come to office for 4 hours and then go back home and work for us still. And oh, great news! we are not going to spare you from meetings, we need you for totally unnecessary works.

Am I willing to work? Oh yes, but Am I getting paid enough? obviously not.

Then the question is why Am i not switching? Well, to be honest I don't have an answer. I have lost count of how many jobs I applied till now and have got no response yet. Thinking there must be something wrong with my preparation, right? I guess so too but I'm stuck in a loop where I'm a creative person who struggles with consistency. I love to use my brain in challenges and can't work on resumes or researching because it falls under the "boring stuffs", so it's really difficult to perform the task until and unless I'm pushed.

I know I'm at a stage where I don't have the luxury to entertain myself with choices because I don't have one. But I'm exhausted and can't find the energy to pour into preparation. I need a start, another story in my life, that's the only truth I know. I need the change so I'm pushing it, pushing myself but the timing is messed up. It's hard to hear from anywhere, I don't know what everybody is looking for exactly and what I lack, so I keep thinking it might be about divine timing because what can be done from my end, I'm doing it. I don't know.

It has gotten depressing right? But I've been like this lately because it feels nothing is working out. It's good that the movies show the main character with these struggles as well, but unlike movies these struggles stay for a longer period in life and mine just keeps on stretching. Now, I'm not sure when I'll have that one chance, that one luck, that one something, where Bam!! I can say 'Finally!!'.

It's said that you shouldn't wait for something to happen and just focus on your work, but being a human, you expect things to happen, especially the one where all your hopes lie. So, I'm not sure what I'm doing is right or wrong or if I can do something better or something else. I've no clue about anything.

So, readers it's ok if you don' relate to it or if you don't want to read any of it. It's just a confession of my heart to me.

I'm not depressed definitely if that's what you are thinking. I just wrote down what came to me at the moment.

It was an exercise for me, and I enjoyed it, putting my heart out, so definitely going to try it again.

Hope to see you on my next confession!!

Happy Reading!!