Love me when I least deserve it

It's so easy to love when everything is perfect, when we feel eternal, when we look at life without time or space. Everything we see is love, and all that love is reflected in any angle or perspective of an eternal infinity of situations and dreams repressed by innate desires to live that ideal romantic love story, which even before all the Hollywood movies and novels shaped that concept, seems to have already been born within us.

So many times I questioned what true love would be like; what kind of love was I searching for, filled with expectations and preconceived beliefs? Understanding without words, communication without time or space, all senses filled with comfort and peace, without repairs or desired changes, not even in a small detail, just a perfect fit in everything, without discomfort, without wear and tear, with freedom, trust, and above all, a loyal partnership, where one would not be two, not even two would be one, but hand in hand they would walk in the same direction.

I grew up hearing that everything is a trade, that relationships are a trade, that there must be reciprocity, that everything we give we should receive, and so many other things that reinforce this idea. Even the word "relationship" itself has in its genesis the idea that love between two beings is just a relationship, something that happens when one gives something to receive something back from the other. The very synonyms of the word "relationship" (relation, adventure, case, connection) show the sporadic nature of something that can only happen on an egocentric basis of exchange.

In a partnership, people come together for a common interest. It doesn't matter who gives more; it doesn't matter if one can't give more at a certain time because there is certainty that the other will multiply efforts to ensure that the common interest is always achieved. In a partnership, there is no "I" or "you", there is only "we", which, despite being formed by an "I" and "you", lives on the trust that when two people truly love each other, they won't let go of each other's hand because there is no exchange or expectation of receiving anything. Synonyms for partnership show just that (society, agreement, union, connection, association); in this type of romantic "agreement," there is a common objective, where the heart commands, because it doesn't see the egoistic need for exchange, only the objective of continuing the path without judging the other's moment.

Truly loving someone is for the strong; the weak hide in a relational hopscotch because enduring a partnership is much more complicated than jumping from one exchange to another. It's almost like going to the market to buy bread and leaving the money behind—you eat the bread, I'll keep the money. Next customer, there's still bread; who has money to exchange?" Bellies to fill, minds to deceive Time passes, and there is more hunger and less money.

Those who are in a relationship cannot love when the other deserves it least, because at that moment there is nothing to be exchanged; the other can only receive because they have nothing to give at that moment.

In a partnership, which functions like a union, those who cannot give end up being even more compensated, supported, and helped. Because the other person understands that their momentary compensation is for the common good and not just a sporadic exchange that can only last for a while. Above all else, the one who gives the most in that moment knows that one day they too may need to be "carried" for a while. Partnerships thrive on trust and loyalty, and no matter what, no one will be left behind. The pace may slow down, the goals may become a bit more difficult to achieve at times, but one thing is certain: the one who loves when the other person deserves it the least but needs it the most will always be more confident because they know that, whether on one side or the other, their hands will never let go and their journey will never stagnate.

Thank you for delving into this excerpt from "Lost in My Soul: Conversations With the Deepest Parts of Me." If these words resonated with you, I invite you to embark on a transformative journey through the pages of my book.

Grab your copy now and set out on a path to connect with the most profound parts of your soul.