Dark Night(s) of the Soul

When everything darkens, it is at night. A cold and lonely night, the sun ceases to rise, everything is blackness, even the air we breathe becomes so dense and black that it is impossible to inhale. The heart contracts, a continuous pain of not being able to break free from the strongest bonds ever created: the bonds of our mind.

In that moment, we feel abandoned by people, by the world, and even by God. Silent screams of pain are often misunderstood, even by themselves. Courage, courage, for the sake of love, courage—these are the words that echo within us amidst so much despair and confusion. The soul hurts, but it makes itself heard, and it is the soul that, amidst the darkness of so much pain, still whispers to you that it is not over yet, that it is not time to give up, that certain souls, even in the abyss, were not created to surrender to darkness.

They say there is a dark night of the soul, and for some souls, these nights are countless. The duality of the universe exists in a perfect balance between opposing forces that balance each other, and only in this way can there be perfect order, a divine unity, where the scale does not weigh more or less for one side.

Whoever has more light also has more darkness. There is no way to live in unity with the divine or with the universe without experiencing the two opposing poles that consciousness will harmonize at some point on the journey. No one is only light, nor is anyone only darkness. As the wise saying goes, the virtue lies in the middle, the virtue of knowing that in the balance of all opposing forces lies the unity of the whole, the God that dwells within us and in everything.

We live trapped in a dome of ego limitation, forgetting so many truths. We are eternal, without time or space, living illusion after illusion, walking in circles of pain and frustration, searching for something that is not tangible, something that we feel exists but do not know what, where, or how to find, only feeling that in that something there may be the piece that can fill the empty space that always seems to be missing in us. From pain to pain, we realize that this something is not anywhere we have ever looked, not in any book we have studied, or even in something we have loved or admired. And in the same way, it is all of that and so much more.

At a certain point, amidst the darkness, a thread of divine light bursts forth, a thread of consciousness that illuminates like never before. In that moment, we feel more than understand; we just feel that there is no emptiness in us or anywhere else. Everything is unity; everything is God; everything is divine. We are divine sparks, created in pure love. The origin and destiny are love—an origin and destiny that mix without reason, because in eternity there are no human conditions or limitations, much less a defined timeline.

Just like the changing seasons, our growth goes through cycles. In the autumn, our illusions fall away; in the winter, the sadness of what we have yet to understand leads us to a long, cold loneliness; and in the spring, with the first warm rays of sun, the first seeds of consciousness sprout so that we may live in an eternal summer of warm and loving sunshine.

Only love is real; pain is a necessary illusion in a universe of duality, and only by touching "hell" can we reach paradise. From the lowest point to the highest, we are never alone; we never cease to be God, and the love that is... all that it is.

I know it hurts, but you know what?

It's not real and it will pass; spring has arrived and summer is not far behind!

Thank you for delving into this excerpt from "Lost in My Soul: Conversations With the Deepest Parts of Me." If these words resonated with you, I invite you to embark on a transformative journey through the pages of my book.

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