Karachi Chronicles Chapter 12

Due to our security protocol, as I’ve touched on frequently, there wasn’t a heap of out and about. For that reason it was pretty exciting when we got the privilege to play a round of golf at the Augusta of Pakistan, Karachi Golf Club. Established in 1888, this twenty seven hole course is the oldest golf club in Pakistan. We were assigned to play the yellow course, which are holes ten through eighteen. This nine features both the longest par 4 and shortest par 3 on the entire course.

Upon arrival at the club, we were whisked into the change rooms. This expansive setup would have fit right in on the PGA Tour with its finely crafted wooden lockers, benches and fixtures. It was definitely a step up from the Urunga Golf Club, where I learnt to hack my way through the trees. All the lessons from Tom Hardwick and Dave McBaron plus Wednesday afternoon sessions with the Speddings and Crotty hadn’t really prepared me for this level of play. It quickly became apparent it wouldn’t be like back home, patrolling the rough barefoot or with thongs on if it were a special occasion.

After a quick wardrobe change, we headed out to suss the playing situation. I already knew I’d been drawn to play with Feathers and was hoping his bruised ribs wouldn’t hold him back†. Michael Featherston, as the lone Victorian on the trip, made up for their lack of numbers with his shear determination and iron will. He was also good for a few FaceTime calls, often at the wrong time such as when we were supposed to be running drinks or half an hour after the scheduled departure time from the shopping mall. Indicative of a great family man and by extension an awesome teammate or buddy to be associated with.

Apart from all the great chats we had during the trip, I was so stoked to be there on the two occasions he bombed massive sixes. Particularly, the one during our first game at the National Bank Stadium against Pakistan, which was the thing of childhood dreams. Not only was it awesome to see the pink ball fly into the stands of a test ground, but it also partially made up for a few of the zacs I got smoked for later that day. Everybody loves belting a six, however to do it in the green and gold is something else. No doubt this will be a fantastic memory that will stay with him for years to come.

As Feathers and I sidled up to the registration desk we were met by our two caddies, Sarfraz and Newman. It was cool to play with caddies but I had a feeling gnawing inside that they were about to be a little disappointed. Being a handy, yet decidedly average golfer, this was further compounded by having to use the caddies own clubs. Upon collection of our gear, we were graciously given a bag of goodies, including all kinds of golfing paraphernalia. Out of all these, I was most chuffed with the Karachi Golf Club glove, which made a fantastic and unique souvenir.

Grouped with Botty and Raders, we were hitting off the first tee for a shotgun start. Although my caddy Newman was happy with my practice swings, he was soon disappointed when I duffed my first drive about fifty metres up the fairway. My own disappointment was further stoked by a bit of friendly banter from Raders, which at the time I didn’t find as funny as I do now. After a few more wayward shots, the ball finally found its way into the hole and I was now well on track to bring up my first half century for the tour.

Next on the menu was a medium length par 3 over a large water hazard, requiring a full carry, as short was trouble. Based on the fact I was hitting the ball frequently and terribly, I decided to club up to an 8 iron and give it the old seventy five percent treatment. This worked a treat, as I carried the water and front bunker, leaving the ball about five metres short of the hole. It would eventually turn out that this was enough for nearest the pin. I can’t recall if I managed the par as I was distracted by the staff marking my ball but I do remember Radders constantly stating, “you do know this putt is for birdie right?”

After a few more forgettable holes, play wise, I started to improve as I got used to the clubs and conditions. It also probably helped that we weren’t going at a beer per hole like at the Will Cameron Cup*. Probably my highlight was at the shortest par 3 on the course. This beautiful hole was downhill, between two large palm trees to an island green, completely surrounded by water. I went the trusted seventy five percent treatment again, this time with a pitching wedge, or “PW madness,” as my mate Cleggy would say. Fortunately the play worked and I lobbed it below the pin, centre of the green. Easily cleaning up for par, I was relieved about doing just enough to stop my caddie from packing up and going home early.

Finishing up with a few more interesting holes we rolled in just before dark, as a ragging horde of hungry mosquitoes descended. Feathers and I duly tipped our caddies and headed back to the facilities for a shower and wardrobe change. On the way, I also slipped the nearest the pin guy a tip for his efforts sitting there all afternoon in the blazing sun. Content with this amazing experience we were unaware there was more to come. After tidying up at the first class facilities we were ushered upstairs for some pre dinner snacks and refreshments.

Initially spending a good hour debriefing with the lads over a good session upstairs, we eventually headed downstairs into the club proper. It felt like we had been transported to St Andrews, as the layout screamed of old times, heritage and class. Funnily enough, just as that though flashed through my head, I walked past a beautiful painting of the home of golf. Like most things on the trip, I guess it was just meant to be. I’d almost become accustomed to the fact that I was living out a fantasy each and every moment I spent in Karachi.

Down in the club we had a formal dinner with all participating members and the guest of honour, Abdul Razak. It was incredible to chat to the man himself and I was in disbelief we would potentially be playing him in a few day's time. We were discussing my wicket from a bouncer a few days earlier and he was pretty impressed, mainly due to the lack bounce in most pitches there. I jokingly said, “please don’t hit me on the roof if I do it to you when we play.” He responded “I’ll just duck, I’m getting old!” Funnily enough when we did play later in the tournament, I accidentally slipped him a bouncer and he followed through casually ducking under it. When I reminded him of our conversation, mid pitch, he casually sighed “I’m tired.” Considering he was rapidly heading for a score of 195, that was a pretty fair comment.

As always, another highlight from the function was once again chatting to the lads from Nepal. These guys were absolute legends, always smiling and always fun to be around. Their manager, Karna Thapa, was the epitome of this with his never ending one liners and generosity. At the end of the trip they even managed to send us all personalised, inscribed wallets from a local leather store. It was just another moment where I wondered how I ended up here, while also being overly grateful for meeting such legendary human beings.

Wrapping the night after a nice buffet complete with amazing local ice cream, words can’t describe how delectable it was, there was an awards ceremony. I already knew I’d snagged nearest the pin, however I didn’t realise my first International golf trophy was about to arrive. Although I’m not that jazzed by physical trophies, as opposed to the achievement itself, this was a pretty cool and unique souvenir from this memorable experience. My partner Feathers, was also lucky enough to take out second place net score and bag a trophy as well. By that time our caddies had long vanished into the sunset but hopefully someday they’ll find out so it can restore just a little bit of respect for us!

† See chapter 4 - I say this in jest as it was merely a superficial and possibly mental injury.

*Will Cameron Cup - a charity golf day held at the end of each year in memory of our High School mate, Will. Funds raised go to the Black Dog Institute, an organisation that facilitates research into mental health. It’s also a day for our extended circle of mates, associates, family and friends to come together.