Brass Ring Interlude 5: The Importance of Being Earnest

Fleaboy jumped between buildings. He liked that Overton didn’t have any skyscrapers; it made his particular mode of travel that much easier. He liked the wind rushing through his hair; he had even designed his mask so that he could feel the wind as he jumped, and had to keep his hair at a very specific length (too long and it whipped in his face, too short and he missed the sensation). He flipped with every jump so he could see if someone was in trouble. Fortunately, today was mostly boring. Weird, considering the panic the capes community is in.

I wonder what my worst secret is…? Fleaboy tried to enjoy the jumping, but he had trouble getting into his usual groove. Someone had unleashed the Telemachus Ultimatum, and he had no idea what secret had been unleashed that would do him in. Ever since the radioactive flea had bitten him and given him the proportionate speed, strength, and leaping ability of a flea, he had enjoyed life. Sure, there was what happened to his Uncle Joe and he kept having issues with his rogues, but, and he smiled, his love life was at least interesting.

He had even designed a suit to maximize the efficiency of his powers. The goggles could flip between normal vision, infravison, and automatic filters to block random flashes. There was a radio that could translate subvocal whispers to something others could hear. The material of the suit itself was light, flexible, and capable of deflecting bullets. He had tracers that stuck to whatever they were tossed at, ensuring that no bad guy escaped. He had put a film based on gecko finger pads in his gloves and feet that allowed him to walk up walls. He even had minor repulsor beams built into the gloves to give him a little added offensive power. Yeah, the suit is cool.

He quickly went over his worst sins list. He had been responsible for his uncle’s death, but it was the collateral damage of a selfish decision. There wasn’t a day that he had wished that he had made the decision to slam that robber instead of ignoring him. There was his ongoing war with Don Pelegrine, but that was above board. He had never brutalized any of his rogues, even pulling his punches so they survived; a full-strength punch could easily punch through cement, so it could devastate a regular human if he connected. Even his love life, and he smiled again, had no physical abuse, despite all of the yelling.

Sure, he had skipped class numerous times for CAPES missions, but that had to be below the radar of someone like Telemachus. He finally jumped to the home he shared with Aunt Marge. He needed to figure out the secret that Telemachus had sent against him; it was sure to cause Aunt Marge to go into conniptions, and he wasn’t sure if she could endure another fit at her age. He crawled in through the window he always kept open and stripped down for a shower. “I’m home, Aunt Marge!”

“You need to stop in sneaking in, boy!” He smirked. “You’re liable to give me a heart attack.” Like that would ever happen! “There’s a message from the college for you. Some Dean Wallace.”

He froze. “Any idea what it’s about?”

“Just that he wants to see you immediately.”

He exhaled. It just rains, doesn’t it? “Okay, let me take a shower first.”

“Fine, but I’d suggest you hurry. It sounded important.”

He showered, dressed, and then hopped to the bus stop. I seriously need to get a car. The bus arrived in about ten minutes, and he was whisked to Overton University, just forty minutes away. He walked from the bus stop to the hallowed halls of the Harold H. Scheinberg Administrative Building in just under five minutes. He opened the doors and entered the building.

Piotr Palmer's steps echoed in the great hall. He had hoped that he would never have been called to the Dean's Office but here he was. The secretary smiled at him as she took his name, but his nervousness only increased. Soon, he was called into the office. He had problems just walking forward; he, who had faced down the evil Gremlin, traded barbs with the Black Sable to the point of seduction, and had helped send multiple alien invasions packing, couldn’t do anything about the hammering of his heart as each foot fell forward.

He finally entered the room with the imperious Dean Wallace behind a huge cherrywood desk. “Sit down.” Piotr struggled to find a chair before sitting in it. “We’ve received an interesting missive from a person calling themselves ‘Telemachus.’ Interesting name.” Piotr gulped. “We need to discuss your extra-curricular activities, son.”

Piotr sighed. “But I have none, sir. I have been too busy with classes for any other activities.”

The dean’s eyebrows went up. “Not according to this Telemachus chap.” He sat back. “You’ve been very busy, certainly, but as a superhero.”

Piotr froze. “S-s-sir?”

The dean smiled. “We’ve seen the photographs and video of you putting on the mask of Fleaboy, as well as photographs of the futuristic equipment utilized. It is that equipment we need to discuss.”

Piotr exhaled. So this is how Telemachus decided to get me. Let’s see how this plays out. “I’m just a college student.” Piotr’s hands opened to a pleading gesture. “There’s no way I could be---”

“Please. There is no reason to act so humble. That equipment is incredible. What is the status of your senior thesis?”

Piotr hands went to his side. “I’m having a problem finding an advisor. Apparently, ‘Comparative Fuel Sources of Major Supervillains’ is a bit controversial.”

The dean smiled. “That’s below you. It’s an interesting idea, to be sure, especially considering some of the power sources used, but it’s below you. You should be attempting something more interesting.”

Piotr snapped to attention. “Sir? But it’s controversial nature shows that it’s an interesting idea with some interesting applications in engineering and physics.”

The dean sat forward. “Oh, I’m not saying that it’s not interesting. It’s just a project better suited to another student. Stop working on it and write a paper on your own devices. Some of the devices you’ve come up with could create their own industries.” He bent his head down a little. “Do so and you’ll have an advisor by Friday.” He smirked. “Hell, I’ll be your advisor if you can’t find one.”

Piotr slumped. He sighed. “But I have so many notes---”

The dean smiled. “Look at this way: One of our college’s biggest sponsors is Hewlett-Packard and they’ve been looking to get into the super-tech sector. You could be set for life if even one or two of the devices you created for CAPES missions were to be patented and sold. You could do so much more good than being a local super with the funds you receive from their sale. Your comparison of different power sources, by comparison, would likely sit on the shelves for generations. A paper on, say, your hyper-energetic dimensional quasi-opening device would be not only eye-opening but would excite a lot of engineers and physicists.”

Piotr smiled. “That was a fun device. It was developed to deal with Doctor Simalis and his demon army. It was jerry-rigged in an afternoon. I wasn’t sure if it would even work.”

“Nonetheless, it did work out, and pretty gloriously if I recalled. All of the demons were sucked back to their home dimensions and Simalis’ main device was put out of action.”

Piotr let out a deep sigh. “So fine. Let’s do this. How do we start?”

The dean had a satisfied grin. “Just a pick a device. Any device.”

Piotr smiled. “Okay. I know just the one.” He pulled out his laptop. “Let me show you.” Piotr moved to the desk. Aunt Marge is going to be proud of her boy! “We’ll start with my suit. It has the most basic modifications and should make HP happy.” Smiling, Piotr brought up the blueprints of the Fleaboy suit.

The dean was impressed. “See? This is the kind of thing I’m talking about. The subsystems all work together almost flawlessly. All it needs is a decent AI and it’s perfect for a wide range of applications.”

Piotr grimaced. “Well, I did try an AI, but there were sentience issues and…Yeah, it just didn’t work out.”

Dean Wallace frowned. “Sad to hear.” The dean brightened up. “Still, it was a brilliant idea. You just need to work out the kinks.”

Piotr smiled. “Okay. Guess we’re doing this. I just need an advisor.”

The dean nodded. “Go to Professor Connor’s lab. He’ll have incentive to help you.”

“Yessir.” He left the office.

On the way out, he realized that accepting the dean’s offer would take him off the board as effectively as having him arrested. So I’m no longer a super-hero, but a burgeoning capitalist. Piotr smiled. “Brilliant move, Telemachus.”

[The last chapter can be found here.]