A love Version Of Myself

After he messaged “Hi 😊,” I replied with a simple “Hey.” The exchange marked the start of something.

Communication between us became regular following our first message exchange. Every day. During our text exchanges he would ask about my school schedule and my daily lunch choices and my overall mood that day. When he spoke to me he used gentle sincere words that caused me to delay my response more than was appropriate because of his complete awareness. As a girl I feel it's natural to demonstrate mild defiance. Waiting for a late response from me became one of my tactics to maintain brief distance in our conversations. But he never stopped trying.Online connections blossomed between us but college stayed consistent throughout. College continued to divide us because I remained quiet with my reading yet he maintained his spot on the distant bench while laughing with gusto. We didn’t talk in person. Not yet. And it bothered him. He would message me later with little complaints:

“Why don’t you talk to me at college?”

“Are you ashamed of me?”

He failed to grasp that my inaction was not a sign of disinterest. It was fear. I couldn't get used to this new kind of attention that formed a strange yet comforting connection to someone important.One ordinary day brought about radical transformations that altered our way of life.

He moved himself out from his previous seat position in the back. I noticed it gradually. His seating position shifted from the back rows to the middle before he settled near the front. He finally decided to take a seat on the second bench which was right behind my position. I suddenly turned to face the class one early morning when I spotted him seated there with his bag open and pen in his hand gazing intently at the whiteboard. It wasn’t for the class. It was for me.

He started participating too. Chemistry became a new subject for the boy who previously spent his time doodling and distracting others. On that particular day he provided an answer which challenged even me. The entire class and the teacher stared at him with visible surprise as his eyebrows shot up.

My expression remained unchanged as I hid my happiness.

He began walking me to my home after every day's classes. Every day. The routine stopped at halfway through but my hiking route continued until I reached my alternate direction. At first, I protested.

Your actions don't require any obligations from you I informed him.

“I know,” he replied with a grin, “but I want to.”

Each day combined into something new and indistinct. My daily routine that I previously feared evolved into something I wanted to maintain since it shifted at a slow but profound pace.

Slowly I began to had feeling for him since he was the first boy that shows interest toward me after seeing me as a real. Others used to flirt with me just on a facebook but he was the only guy that feels connected with me on a real time.