Secrets

Has anyone ever felt this way? As though you’re hiding your emotions, opinions, and/or very essence away - just like a locked box only you can open? I’ve always felt this way, since I feel terrible when I put myself before others. Someone needs help with homework, no problem. Another needs my opinion to help them feel better, I’ll gladly put myself down to make them laugh. Yet, living like this… is so tiring. I constantly smile, put on a facade of neutrality and a shield nobody is able to pierce through to sense my true thoughts. I do everything I can for my friends and even people I barely know, and every time they harm me, I just smile. And tell myself no, this doesn’t hurt. Feel the pain later, but never right now.