Labyrinth

The other day, I watched a video on YouTube speaking about the novel for the film 'Labyrinth' that came out to accompany it. From the moment the content creator started explaining it, I knew I was going to hate it -- hate it with every fiber of my being. The reason for that is that 'Labyrinth' is the only movie I can think of that accomplishes something special and the way the novel was envisioned destroys what the film was capable of. Just by way of research, the novel was written by A.C.H. Smith (the original screenplay for the film was written by Jim Henson, Terry Jones, and Dennis Lee) to coincide with the release of the film. Jim Henson oversaw the novel and it was published with his creative permission.

The novel begins with Sarah attending a party to celebrate a play with her actress mother and her lover. The lover takes a little too much interest in Sarah. She's still thinking it over when everything that happens in the film goes down. So, Jareth is a version of her mother's boyfriend... probably in the same way the guys who work on Dorothy's farm become the Scare Crow, the Tin Woodsman, and the Cowardly Lion in the film for 'The Wizard of Oz.'

I thought I would explode.

Now, the reason I thought I would explode is because the take on the story was so polarising compared to the story I had made up in my head to accompany the film 'Labyrinth' that I nearly popped.

In my mind, Labyrinth is an experiment in motherhood. Motherhood is a complicated thing. It's very much like that quote from 'Excaliber' when Merlin is talking to Arthur and he says, "Looking at the cake is like looking at the future. Until you've tasted it, what do you really know?" Of course, after you've tasted it, it's too late to go back.

That is what I thought was special about 'Labyrinth'. I thought it gave young girls an opportunity to taste what motherhood is like before diving headfirst in a way that was possible for a child to digest. Sarah is not Toby's mother, but for the purposes of the story, she is. Let me take you through the story from my perspective.

The first trial of the Labyrinth is the corridor that just goes on and on, without any turns, or corners, or anything. That is motherhood in a big way. It wouldn't be confusing for someone's journey to begin that way. If you're not used to caring for infants and haven't wrapped your mind around the idea that babies do not stay babies - looking after a baby can feel like you are not accomplishing anything. The days can blur together in a fog and it can become confusing as to what you're doing and why. And like the worm says at the end of the trial, "If she'd have kept going on that way, she would have gone straight to that castle," you can do your whole motherhood that way... In a blur of doing what needs to be done without finding any joy in the journey.

Then we have Sarah walking through the labyrinth making marks with her lipstick to show her the way (the fact that it is her lipstick, a symbol of seduction, that she's destroying is fabulous). The goblins go after her and change her marks so that she can't make any progress. Again, that is textbook mothering. You just finished the dishes. You get to do them again. You just finished the laundry. You get to do it again. You just straightened the living room. A child has just run through it and ruined everything. Having a kid destroy your work every 20 seconds - that's motherhood. So frustrating.

Then we have the oubliette. Yeah. Motherhood can feel like prison. Sometimes you can't take your child with you. If you don't have someone to watch your kid for you, you can't leave. You have to stay home. Home = Prison.

If we go a little further, we have the fireys. These are the dudes who sing and switch heads. In my mind, they represent mindless fun. When you're a mom, that's over. There is no such thing as mindless fun. You have stuff to worry about when you're a mum. You can't shut everything off and just play. You have to be the adult. You have to supervise your kids. Mindless fun is off the table.

Then we have the ballroom scene. To me, this scene represents irresponsible romance. When you're a mom, that's off the table too. You can't bring just whoever into your home and into your life. You have kids. Even if you don't have a husband/father figure for your kids, and you're looking for a man, you still can't do this. Who someone is matters now and you can't bring masked men into your house for a bit of fun. It's wildly irresponsible. She has to turn it down and leave in a hurry.

Our next stop is her old room when she was a child and the dumpster woman who tries to tempt her with her old childhood toys. When you have a baby, you have to say goodbye to yourself as a child. You can't be a baby while you have a baby. Someone has to be the adult and it's you.

Then, we have the bog of eternal stench. I love this one. Girls are supposed to be all delicate and pretty like princesses in pink satin gowns, yet... having babies means cleaning yellow poop that has leaked all the way up to your baby's neck and soiled their hair. A lot of motherhood is disgusting. "I've never smelled anything like it," is a phrase you will say more than once as a mom.

Now, during all of this, during all of the frustration and trouble, during all the hardship... there's this guy who comes by and makes things worse. For my own part, I envision Jareth as a baby-daddy, and our girl is not married to him. Either they're divorced or they were never really a couple. He makes things harder and he's always trying to take her baby away. Yet, she's kind of attracted to him even though he's always screwing her over.

If we go through the other characters she meets:

Hoggle is like a stepson (or even just an older child) she has to win over. He's helpful, but his loyalties are divided and he can inadvertently make things miserable if baby-daddy asks him to.

Ludo is like a child who is so little they can't really talk or communicate, but they have one special ability that makes them far better than an infant. I'd say it's fetching diapers. A little kid who can run and get a diaper for you is pretty awesome when you need a diaper badly.

Sir Didimus is like a child's friend that you're stuck with who you sort of wish would go home, but can also be useful in the right circumstances.

At the end of the story, Sarah must confront Jareth. He is saying things that contradict each other. She knows he's lying. He's gaslighting her. He's making more than half the problem her fault when she's been working the whole time.

And the only way to be free from an ex-lover is to refuse them power over you, even if you continue to have to work with them to raise the child you both made together.

It's exhausting.

These days, having kids is pretty low on everyone's to-do list. All the mothers griped their way through the 70s, 80s, 90s, 00s, 10s, and beyond. They didn't capture the magic of the journey of raising kids, how rewarding it can be, and how much fun can be had along the way. That's why I loved the movie 'Labyrinth' so much. There's all this fun all over the place, all these little successes, and David Bowie really captures the character of a man who is oddly attractive but super problematic.

So, if the book was made the way it was... with Sarah sitting around mooning over her mother's boyfriend and Jim Henson supervised it... I have a lot of questions. What kind of story were they trying to tell? A bunch of middle-aged men writing a fantasy story about a teenage girl strangely fascinated by her mother's boyfriend? It sounds like a fantasy to me, but that's because I can't think of anyone more disgusting than your mother's boyfriend. Did Jim Henson and his fellows make an awesome movie discussing women's issues by accident? That's what it sounded like when I heard the description of the book. I guess that makes sense... That all the greatness was a huge accident... They're all dudes. What do they know about being a mother and the sacrifices it entails?

However, even if it was an accident, there is one thing in it that is so genius, I can't get over it.

It happens at the very beginning.

Jareth is talking to Sarah and he says, "I've brought you a gift."

"What is it?"

"It's a crystal, nothing more, but if you turn it this way, it will show you your dreams. Do you want it?"

She nods.

"Then forget the baby," he says with an air of finality.

This is so representative of the struggle women have. You see, in our society, a woman's value is at its height when she's young. Women peak in their 20s and 30s and by their forties, they lose value as they age. The time they're the most valuable is during their baby-making years. And if they have a baby, they'll lose the chance to do whatever their dream was. If they don't destroy the beauty of their body making a baby, they have to stay with the baby afterward and be a mother. They can't be a model, an actress, an athlete, or anything else if they have a baby. It may even simply be a question of money. If you go make money, you can't stay with your baby and be a mom most of the time. And being a mom is not a cool thing in our world. In many people's eyes - it is the most pathetic thing a woman can do.

So, when Jareth offers her the crystal, he's not offering her her dream. He's merely offering her the opportunity to pursue her dream. That's all. All women have to make that choice. There's no crystal.

Either you can try to do the thing you love most, or you can have a baby. For a lot of women, for a lot of reasons, you can't have both.

I have always envied women who dream of becoming mothers.

And as for the boys who wrote this... I wonder who knocked them up since all this seems to have been an accident.