John and Francesca: Meet-Cute to Mourning

I'll admit, I'm biased about the John/Francesca love story.

Why? Because watching them on screen felt a lot like watching my own Neurodiverse Love Story. Existing together without the need to talk, non-traditional love languages, mutual support in mentally taxing social situations. Learning to advocate for themselves and each other because finally there is someone who understands you.

John transcribed music for Francesca when she said that a tune would sound better in a different pace and key. My Beloved sends me writing prompts and listens while I rant out the problems I'm having with my novels. (Her laughter is the best antidote to Plot-Hole Depression).

Of course, I've also read the books, so I know how it ends. I told myself not to get invested in their lovestory, then went ahead and plunged in head-first anyway.

I think that's the best indicator of a good Doomed or Star-Crossed Love: you know it can't last, but you still get invested and cheer them on, because you can't help yourself.

The Build-Up

It's interesting to look at John in a Meta sense.

From Francesca's earlier character development - an introvert in a chaotic family, eager to marry so she can have her own (quieter) home but struggling with the social whirlwind of the Season - John perfectly fits the bill for everything Francesca claimed to want. A husband who is kind, and who listens to her. A quiet home, far from the noise and bustle of London.

Whether this remains what Francesca wants, as she discovers more about herself and who she is, or whether it becomes something of a monkey's paw, remains to be seen. Relationships are mallable; handled right, it doesn't have to be an either/or situation. John and Michaela don't have to be mirrors of each other for Francesca to love them both.

In loving John in opposition to the Queen's wishes and in the shadow of her family's doubts, Francesca has to speak up about what she wants, where before she would endure and work around them. In loving Francesca, John gains confidence and friends, where before he was even shyer than Francesca. Both learn to express their needs and desires, rather than pasting on a smile and waiting for the unpleasantness to pass.

Francesca liked the Marquess well enough, but her willingness to marry him died the moment he admitted to wanting ten children, and how he loved a noisy house. This was contrasted with John going out of his way to speak to Francesca through her interests, showing that he understood and supported her passions, to great effect. It's this moment when Francesca changes from someone willing to marry the first one who asks, to becoming an active participant in her search for a husband, with defined wants and deal-breakers.

The first time John attempts to tell the story of the Muddy Ghost, he stumbles over his words, and generally fails to communicate. But, where he would previously have backed down and pretended it never happened, Francesca means enough to him that he wants to make a good impression, so he tries again, and in a less-crowded setting, he does a far better job of it.

A true partnership is one that makes both partners better for the connection, and the John/Francesca romance certainly achieves that.

Love vs Attraction

There's a lot about Francesca's story that is still unwritten, and I hope we see more of it in the coming seasons.

However, it's time to shock the masses: I didn't hate the wedding kiss.

There's no doubt that Francesca loves John romantically. She stood up to Queen Charlotte to defend her choice, confronted her mother over Violet's uncertainty of the match, and advocated for what they wanted in the choice of location, ceremony and celebration. But...

In all their courtship, they barely did more than hold hands.

Francesca isn't Colin or Anthony, bedding her spouse before they even proposed. She isn't Daphne, letting the fires of passion blow caution to the wind. She and John had a fairly easy courtship, and believed that they had their entire lives ahead of them. Why rush ahead, when there is no need to do things out of order?

That, I think, was the reason for Francesca's hesitation during the ceremony. She and John kissed for the first time on their wedding day, and that's a heck of a time to discover that the attraction you thought would appear in time... isn't there.

I remember my first kiss. It was with a boy I was friends with, and wouldn't have minded dating. We went to the movies, and he kissed me in the park while waiting for the bus. Media had taught me to expect butterflies, fireworks... this was supposed to be a life-changing experience.

I felt nothing.

I wouldn't realise until roughly a decade later that I was Asexual, when I kissed someone I was head-over-heels in love with, and still felt nothing. Lack of sexual attraction didn't change the fact that I was in love, nor did it diminish our relationship.

You can feel sexual attraction without being in love. You can be in love without feeling sexual attraction.

The Bridgerton-Kilmartin wedding showed every sign of someone who has just discovered that, and is feeling confused.

Meeting Michaela

I'm on the fence about gender-swapping Michael into Michaela, other than to say that it's nice to have a popular form of Media acknowledge that same-sex attraction exists in characters who aren't Gay/Lesbian stereotypes.

I'm willing to see where future seasons take the idea before I write it off as a bad choice, but I'm leaning toward the idea that they're trying to differentiate between the cousins.

In the book series, John and Michael are treated more like brothers than cousins, and that's part of Francesca's struggle: the fear that she's replacing John with Michael.

Where John and Francesca are two peas in a pod, perhaps Micaela and Francesca will fill each other's gaps.

I guess we'll just have to wait until next Season to find out.

In the meantime, if you need a Regency fix, you can check out my work on Amazon, or here on Vocal.