IT'Z NOT SO BAD

BY SWIKILIA BROWN

WHY CAN'T SHE EVER SPEAK TO ME IN A REASONABLE TONE?

YELLING AND SCREAMING AT ME ABOUT STAYING OUT OF HER OLD CLOTHES AND UNWANTED ACCESSORIES; GET A LIFE!

SHE'S A SWEET STEPMOM, BUT SHE'S VERY STINGY AROUND THE HOUSE. I'M GOING TO THE BEST PARTY OF THE YEAR TONIGHT, AND SHE'S NOT TRYING TO SHARE WITH ME BECAUSE SHE'S A HATER THAT DOESN'T WANT ME TO HAVE ANY FRIENDS. BUT I'M WEARING IT ANYWAY, AS SOON AS SHE LEAVES FOR THE GYM! THIS BRACELET IS SO SHINY AND BLINGING THAT EVERYBODY'S GOING TO THINK IT'S FAKE! I HAVE ALWAYS WANTED TO WEAR THIS KIND OF STUFF WITH SPORTS ATTIRE AND TONIGHT I'M MAKING A GRAND ENTRANCE WITH MY JERSEY AND MY 5 CARATS OF PURE SWAGG!

LISTEN TO THAT...... I'M TIRED OF KIM ALWAYS PULLING UP TO THIS BLOCK WITH THAT OBNOXIOUS STEREO SYSTEM IN HER CAR BLARING CURSE WORDS FOR THE NEIGHBHOOD KARENS TO JUMP ON! UUGGHH! SO THAT’S WHY I USUALLY JUST CHILL OUTSIDE...... AND WAIT. BUT TODAY- SHE BETTER WAIT FOR ME QUIETLY; ANYWAYS I HAVE THE GAS MONEY, SO SHE HAS TO BE PATIENT THIS TIME. READY......OUT!

SO NOW WERE DRIVING BY HER BOYFRIEND'S JOB TO CHECK UP ON HIS STATUS OF THE PARTY TONIGHT, BUT I WANT TO GO ACROSS THE PARKING LOT TO THE FOOD TRUCK FOR A CRUNCH-SNACK! YEP, SHE'S GOING INSIDE TO TALK TO HIM SO I'M MAKING MY BREAK FOR THE TRUUCK ......

THE FOOD SMELLS SO AROMATIC AND FRESH BUT THE DOG IS OFF OF THE LEASH FOR SOME DUMB REASON! IF I TURN AROUND NOW OR ACT SCARED, HE'S DEFINITELY GOING TO CHASE ME, AND THERE IS A STRONG POSSIBILITY OF ME GETTING ATTACKED, SO I'M GOING TO COUNT TO FIVE AND RUN AS FAST AS I CAN BACK TO THE CAR!

ONE, TWO......FIVE! OH SNAPZ, THESE FLIP FLOPS ARE NOT MEANT FOR RUNNING AT RECORD BREAKING PACES!!!

I DON'T THINK THE CAR IS UNLOCKED AND HE'S ON MY HEELS!!! KIM OPEN THE DOOR HURRY, HURRY!!!!

PHEW, OH MAN, THANK YOU SOOO MUCH ......THAT DOG WAS SO MEAN AND FAST!!! I THOUGHT I WAS A GONER BRO!!!!

YOU'RE ALL FRESH AND CLEAN, AND I’M ALL SWEATY AND RUSTY NOW! I HAVE TO GO BACK HOME AND CHANGE UP- SO KIM CAN YOU DRIVE??? WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU’RE NOT GOING BACK AND YOU'RE TRYING TO GET TO THE PARTY EARLY?? YOU KNOW WHAT KIM- JUST FORGET IT I CAN CALL AN UBER BRO!! SHE IS SO SHADY SOMETIMES BUT I'VE BEEN HER FRIEND SINCE THIRD GRADE! BIG WHOOP! NOW THE UBER HAS A 20-40 MINUTE TIME FRAME WINDOW BECAUSE WE’RE IN THE MOUNTAINS??? I GUESS I HAVE TO WAIT FOR MY RIDE AT THE GAS STATION ACROSS THE STREET.

THAT'S FINE BUT THERE'S ALWAYS BUMS AND UNDESIRABLES LOITERING AROUND IT AND ASKING FOR SPARE CHANGE!!

SEE, THERE THEY ARE!!! NO SIR, I DON'T HAVE ANY SPARE CHANGE, BUT I HAVE SOME CANDY IN MY POCKET IF YOU'D LIKE?

ACTUALLY SIR, I'M WAITING FOR MY UBER AND IVE BEEN HAVING A VERY ROUGH DAY! A DOG CHASED ME THROUGH THE PARKING LOT ACROSS THE STREET AND I'M PROBABLY NOT GOING TO MAKE IT TO THE BIGGEST PARTY OF THE YEAR TONIGHT!!! AS A MATTER OF FACT, HERE YOU GO, HAVE THIS QUICK PICK LOTTO TICKET, IT'S WORTH A HUNDRED DOLLARS! YOU GO TREAT YOURSELF TO A DELICIOUS MEAL, AND BESIDES, I'VE HAD THE TICKET FOR A WEEK IN MY CELLPHONE CASE! YOU’RE SO WELCOME IT'S MY PLEASURE!

NOW THAT THAT’S OVER- WHERE IS THE UBER????

FORGET IT ...... I'M WALKING- NO RUSH HERE!

I NEVER REALIZED HOW CLOSE THE GAS STATION IS TO MY HOUSE! BUT WHEN I GET IN THIS HOUSE, I'M RELAXING AND REFLECTING, AND REEVALUATING MY FRIENDSHIP WITH KIM! SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT HOW IT WAS MY DECISION TO GO OVER TO THE FOOD TRUCK, AND HOW I WAS SUPPOSED TO STAY IN THE CAR AND WAIT FOR HER TO GET BACK, SO IT'S MY FAULT AND SHE WASN'T RESPONSIBLE FOR DRIVING ME BACK HOME TO CHANGE MY CLOTHES! I WOULD HAVE NEVER NEGLECTED OUR FRIENDSHIP LIKE THAT, IT'S UNCALLED FOR! WOW, THAT BESTIE LIFE! THIS WALK WAS SHORTER THAN I THOUGHT! WHY IS MY STEPMONSTER ALWAYS LEAVING NOTES FOR ME ON THE FRONT DOOR LIKE A SOLICITOR?

OH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH! YOU'RE ALWAYS ON VACATION, AND YOU DON'T LOVE ME AND, THE LEFTOVERS YOU LEAVE FOR ME IN THE FRIDGE TASTE LIKE YOU REALLY, REALLY HATE ME!!!

SO, THIS LITTLE FORGET ME NOT IS GETTING BALLED UP AND THROWN IN THE GAR-BAGE!!

AND AT LEAST I GET A WEEKEND TO MYSELF IN THIS MUSEUM OF A TOWNHOUSE! I GUESS I CAN WATCH MOVIES UNTIL I FALL ASLEEP AND GIVE EM H-E DOUBLE HOCKEY STICKS TOMORROW!

THE EVENING PROGRESSES AND DAYLIGHT ARRIVES:

NO KIM, I'M NOT UP AND WHAT DO YOU WANT ANYWAY? DID YOU HAVE A GREAT TIME AND LIVE IT UP LAST NIGHT?? DID YOU PULL UP ON MY BOYFRIEND WHEN YOU'RE BOYFRIEND WASN'T LOOKING???

NO SERIOUSLY, WHAT DO YOU WANT?

TONIGHT? NO, I CAN'T GO BECAUSE I'M HOUSE-SITTING AND I NEVER WANT TO RIDE IN YOUR CAR AGAIN, SO NO!! WHAT DO YOU MEAN MY HOUSE??? OHHH NO, MY STEP MONSTER IS OUT OF TOWN AND I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO HAVE ANY COMPANY WHILE SHE'S AWAY! WHAT? HOW'S A HOUSE PARTY GOING TO FIX MY SOCIAL LIFE AT SCHOOL? WHAT? JEREMY HATES ME AND HE'S A SENIOR JOCK!!! LISTEN KIM, I'M NOT DOING IT!!! WHAT? WHY? WAIT YOU'RE RIGHT! IF I HAVE THE PARTY HERE, I CAN MAKE UP AS FASHIONABLY A DAY LATE, BUT ONLY FROM PREPARATION OF ANOTHER LEGENDARY END OF THE SCHOOL YEAR EXTRAVAGANZA!!!!

THAT'S GENIUS KIM!!! YOU ARE A BRAINIAC!!! OKAY, GET OVER HERE AND LET'S DO THIS! OKAY, BET!!

WHAT AM I GOING TO WEAR!!!!!

MORE OF STEP MONSTERS ENSEMBLES PERHAPS?

YEP!!!! PARTY DRESS? CHECK! HOT FRIEZ AND PIZZA ROLLS? CHECK! TWO PARENTS OUT OF TOWN FOR THE WEEKEND? CHECK!!!

SOPHOMORES RULE THE SCHOOL END OF THE YEAR PARTY? CHECK!!!

THE EVENING PROGRESSES:

OKAY KIM, IT'S 6:30 AND YOU'RE NOT HERE? THIS IS STUPID! AND WHY IS THAT FREAKING DOORBELL SO LOUD?

JESSE!!! HI, FRIEND....LONG TIME NO SEE..... WHERE'S KIM?

WELL, YOU GUYS HAVE TO PARK IN THE ALLEY TONIGHT OR ELSE THE NEIGHBORS ARE GONNA CALL MY PARENTS!!!

THE PARTY PROGRESSES:

WHAT? WHEN DID KIM GET HERE? AND WHY IS HER BOYFRIEND WEARING MY DAD’S FIDORA?

THIS IS STUPID!!!

KIM CAN YOU GUYS GET A MALL...WHAT THE FUDGE????

OH GREAT, AND YOU'RE WEARING MY STEP MONSTER'S ROBE??? AND WHO’S IN THE GARAGE???

THIS IS BASEMENT PARTY FOR A REASON- SO THAT IF THE UNIT SHOWS UP, EVERYBODY CAN GO OUT THE BACK AND HOP THE FENCE, THAT’S THE DRILL!!!!

COME ON BE REASONABLE!!!

JUST FORGET IT- EVERYBODY AND KIM- GET OUT NOW!!!

NO NEED TO APOLOGIZE, JUST LEAVE THE ROBE AND GO...... PARTY'S OVER WHILE I STILL HAVE A SOCIAL PRIVELAGE!!!

AND I HAVE TO CLEAN THIS UP BY MYSELF I GUESS???

UNBELIEVABLE!!!!

WHEN THESE PEOPLE LEAVE, I'M GOING STRAIGHT TO BED.... I'LL CLEAN UP TOMORROW!!

THE NIGHT PROGRESSES:

AS IF THIS WEEKEND HASN'T BEEN AWFUL ENOUGH, NOW THE A.M NOTIFICATIONS PILE IN!!

I SWEAR MY STEP MONSTER IS DIABOLICAL!!! NOW SHE'S REQUESTING THAT I LAY HER WORK CLOTHES OUT FOR TOMORROW IN CASE SHE GETS HOME LATE TONIGHT???

GIVE ME A BREAK!!!!

OHH NOOOO!!!! SHE WANTS THE DIAMOND BRACELET FOR HER OFFICE MEETING TOMORROW AND I FORGOT TO PUT IT BACK ON FRIDAY!!!

IT'S A WRAP!!!! WHAT AM I GOING TO SAY OR DO???

KIM!!!

OH, PLEASE, PLEASE ANSWER THE PHONE!!!

HI, KIMBERLEEZER???

I UNDERSTAND, I UNDERSTAND....AND I APOLOGIZE FOR BEING A JERK, BUT I NEED YOU TO COME PICK ME UP AND DRIVE ME BACK TO THE PARKING LOT WHERE THE DOG WAS CHASING ME.....I THINK I LOST A VALUABLE!!!

WHAT???

KIM- YOU HAVE TO COME HELP ME, MY PARENTS COME BACK TONIGHT, PLEASE!!!!

I’M BEGGING…….

WHAT??? I WOULD DO IT FOR YOU!!

NEVERMIND KIM, I'LL WALK!!!

DON'T EVER CALL ME AGAIN!!!

BYE!!!! I SWEAR......

THE REMOTE CONTROL HIDES ITSELF IN OUR COUCHES!!!

I GUESS I CAN WATCH THE NEWS TO SEE THE WEATHER FORECAST FOR TODAY.

EXTEREME RAIN....WHAT???

AND IT’S SPRINKLING ON THE WINDOW ALREADY!!!

I'M SO OVER IF I DON'T FIND THAT BRACELET!!!!

I’M SOOO SLEEPY!!!!

WELL LET ME CLEAN UP AND WAIT FOR THE RAIN TO STOP!

THOSE KIDS WERE ANIMALS!!!

HAVEN’T THEY EVER HEARD OF A TRASH CAN??

I'VE BEEN CLEANING FOR FOUR HOURS!!!!

IT'S STILL RAINING, SO NAPTIME IS CALLING ME!

RING DOOR BELL RINGS:

I'M COMING, I'M COMING!!!

HI, THERE!

YES, THIS IS THE DAVIS RESIDENCE ……

I HOPE IT’S NOT ANOTHER ONLINE PACKAGE.

STEP MONSTER'S INFATUATION WITH ONLINE SHOPPING HAS REACHED AN ULTIMATE HIGH NOWADAYS!!!!

I'M SURE IT'S NOT FOR MY DAD!

I WANT TO SEE WHAT SHE BOUGHT, SO I'M GOING TO OPEN THE BOX AND RESEAL IT AFTERWARDS!!!

WHAT??????

THE BRACELET????

HOW THE?????

NO WAY!!!!

WHERE'S THE SENDER CARD????

DAVE SMITH???

MY PARENTS DON'T HAVE ANY FRIENDS NAMED DAVE???

OH, THERE'S A NOTE:

IT READS: DEAR ANGEL FRIEND,

THANKS AGAIN FOR THE CANDY ON FRIDAY....IT HELPED WITH MY DIABETES, AND THANKS FOR THE LOTTO TICKET....I WAS ABLE TO GET A BUS TICKET BACK TO MY HOME TOWN SO I CAN BE WITH MY FAMILY AND FIND EMPLOYMENT, AND WHAT LITTLE THAT WAS LEFTOVER.....I USED TO OVERNIGHT YOUR BRACELET BACK TO YOU, AND YOUR IDENTIFICATION CARD.....I FOUND THEM WHILE LOOKING FOR CHANGE IN THE PARKING LOT!!

THANKS AGAIN, STAY IN TOUCH AND HAVE A WONDERFUL LIFE AND A GREAT SCHOOL YEAR THIS FALL- SINCERELY, DAVE SMITH.

WHAT??????

NO WAY!!!!!

I'M BACK IN THE GAME!!!!

OH NO....... THEY'RE PULLING UP!!!!

MY PARENTS ARE BACK!!!!

60 SECONDS TO PUT THIS BRACELET ON THEIR BED ON TOP OF CRUELLAS OUTFIT FOR TOMORROW!!

OKAY, DONE!

I'LL MEET THEM AT THE DOOR!

DOOR OPENS: DAD....BRENDA?... I'M SO GLAD YOUR BACK!!!

I WAS GETTING A LITTLE ON EDGE, BUT I KNEW YOU DIDN'T WANT TO LEAVE ME ALL BY MYSELF FOR TWO WHOLE DAYS, AND IF YOU HAD IT YOUR WAY YOU WOULD NOT HAVE LEFT AT ALL!!!

NOW GO RELAX I'LL COOK FOR YOU GUYS TONIGHT!!!!

WHAT????

TOMORROW IS A GOVERNMENT RECOGNIZED HOLIDAY???

DAD? BRENDA? YOU GUY'S DID WHAT?????

YOU PLANNED AN END OF THE YEAR PARTY FOR ME AND MY FRIENDS FOR TOMORROW NIGHT???

WHAT???

BRENDA ARE YOU SERIOUS???

THE OUTFIT THAT YOU TOLD ME TO PICK OUT FOR YOU WAS REALLY FOR ME????

WHAT???? AND I CAN BORROW YOUR FAVORITE BRACELET BECAUSE YOU'LL BE AT THE PARTY TO KEEP TABS ON IT????

BWLPTHPHH!!!!

EXCUSE ME GUYS…… TOO MANY SNACKS- I THINK I'M GONNA TO BE SICK!!!

entertainment

About the Creator

SWIKILIA HART-BROWN-SPRUCE-HOOD-FARAG