It May Feel Bad: The Soundtrack of My Year

Looking back, 2024 wasn’t the year I’d hoped for. Yet, through the valleys and peaks, music—and the people closest to me—helped me find moments of joy, loss, and resilience.

At the beginning of the year, I was still riding a little on the wave of winning my first and, so far, only Challenge, the Extraterrestrial Challenge. Other things were going well. Work was okay at that point, and although Uncle Claudio still had cancer, it seemed to be a bit more under control, at least.

The year was promising to be challenging, for sure, but there was a ripe sense of positivity and hope.

Ruth and I managed to get away twice, once to Blackpool, and then another time to Berwick-Upon Tweed. So that was already a marked improvement on other years where we had not holidayed.

It was just a couple of week-long stays at caravan parks, but peaceful and serene.

But even with those plans looming, 2024 decided to bare its teeth.

It had been on the cards for a while, but 2024 marked a significant turn workwise, as AI continued to make my role as a freelance writer near-obsolete. So, yay for the machines, I guess! which is as good an intro for the first song on the playlist.

Gary Numan - Down in the Park

This is probably my favourite song by Gary Numan, but this year it took on even greater meaning. The dystopian themes of a future where machines dominate humanity felt timely and unsettling as AI stole much of my freelance writing work. The gradual but unrelenting corrosion of my career has left me hunting for new paths as 2024 draws to a close.

Yet, like Numan’s dystopian nightmare, there’s also a flicker of human resilience, a reminder that adaptation is still within reach.

Then, we discovered that my Uncle's cancer was not responding to the treatment they had been giving him, so he was going to stop his treatment.

Knocked Loose - Thirst

Knocked Loose has been a regular feature of my year in music, and their most recent album, You Won't Go Before You're Supposed To, has received repeated listens. The chaotic energy of the opener, Thirst, echoed how I’ve felt this year, stuck in a loop of frustration and self-doubt.

The lines “Dragging my knuckles, Forward but through the mud , Secluded lower form , Sickened by my thirst for change,” and "I want to start again, I can almost taste it, Thirst," felt like a rallying cry as I struggled with my own inner turmoil.

Though my personal struggles dominated the first few months of the year, they were overshadowed by something more significant, the death of my Uncle Claudio.

Cancer and Funeral

My Uncle sadly passed away. Fortunately, we had one last time to see him before he died. That was a nice time, but also very sad. Inevitably, I still wish I'd said more to him of how much he meant to me. In hindsight, though, as nice as that would have been, it'd also probably have been a little uncomfortable too.

Claudio was a drummer, artist, photographer and, most importantly, a warm-hearted and kind man. His Humanist funeral service reflected his personality and passions through the eulogies and music that defined him. From the bittersweet beauty of You’ll Never Walk Alone to the humour of Never Gonna Give You Up, his and Jill, his wife’s song, there were reminders that even through the darkest moments, there is room for love and laughter.

Rainbow - Stargazer

His wife, Jill, chose Rainbow's amazing Stargazer because the band's drummer, Cozy Powell, was one of his favourites. He loved performing this song, too. It was a beautiful moment, as the prog-rock masters ploughed through one of their most perfect creations, thinking of the times we had seen or heard him playing drums, or talking about playing drums.

Black Sabbath - Into the Void

Into the Void was one of his favourite songs by one of his favourite bands. I especially loved this selection, as this is also my favourite Sabbath track. Hearing this at the funeral reminded me how we all went, as a big weird family gathering to see Black Sabbath during their tour in 2013. That was partially in honour of my late great Uncle Giovanni who we had lost the previous year, way ahead of his time. Into The Void is a classic piece of early heavy metal, before it was even given such a name.

Gerry and the Pacemakers - You'll Never Walk Alone

As well as being a music lover and keen photographer and artist, Claudio loved football and Celtic FC. While many people correctly associate, You'll Never Walk Alone with Liverpool FC, it is also a song that has a strong connection with Celtic. This song always brings tears to my eyes anyway, but in the context of the funeral and remembering how much he loved the so-called beautiful game and his beloved Celtic, made it all the more poignant.

Rick Astley - Never Gonna Give You Up

The final song played at the funeral was Rick Astley's hit earworm, Never Gonna Give You Up, because it was Claudio and Jill's song. This prompted a lot of smiles, and although we were not there in person, we couldn't help but sway along with some of the attendees, including my mother, who was having a little, respectful bop to Rick. The lyrics, often derided as cheesy, were elevated at the funeral.

From his drumming to his art and photography, Claudio left a rich legacy, and his Humanist funeral reflected the vibrancy of his life.

LCD Soundsystem - Someone Great

Next, we have Someone Great by LCD Soundsystem. This bittersweet song perfectly captures the experience of losing someone important in your life. Having lost both my Nonna and Uncle Claudio in as many years, the lyrics have become a source of comfort.

The upbeat electro sound meshed with James Murphy's accurate description of real grief and how the world feels like it stops, just for you, but continues for everyone else, always makes me especially emotional.

"The worst is all the lovely weather

I'm stunned, it's not raining

The coffee isn't even bitter

Because, what's the difference?

There's all the work that needs to be done

It's late, for revision

There's all the time and all the planning

And songs, to be finished"

Elbow - One Day Like This

One Day Like This could easily fit into any position on this playlist because it is one of my go-to feel-good songs. Whenever things are going well, and I want to celebrate, I'll play it. Also, when things are not going so well, and I want to feel better, or at least positive, I'll play it.

Compared often to The Beatles' masterpiece Hey Jude, One Day Like This follows the same pattern of building to that all-important climax. The dry and heartfelt lyrics of the verses are punctuated with a sense of hope and resilience of that climax.

"Throw those curtains wide!

One day like this a year would see me right"

A mantra to live by, for sure. We certainly felt like that when we went to the caravan parks, once in the earlier half of the year and then again in October, for our anniversary.

Fontaines D.C. - Favourite

My year has been dominated in terms of music by Fontaines D.C., the Irish band that has steadily become massive. I could have just included all of their fourth album, Romance, released this year.

Instead, I selected the incredibly wistful and nostalgic Favourite. It never fails to make me smile just a little bit, even if I'm going through a down period. Additionally, my wife and I are going to see the band at the Glasgow Hydro on December 4th.

I guarantee you will be humming the memorable melody for some time after you've finished listening to it.

Fontaines D.C. – Starburster

The first single from Romance is still one of my favourite songs of the year. Sonically different from previous releases, it was inspired by a panic attack the singer, Grian Chatten experienced at St. Pancreas Station in London.

It feels appropriately placed before the next song. The line “I want to live the arc” also hit home quite a bit this year because it has felt like a meandering sort of year, with only limited and slight progress. The refrain 'It may feel bad' became my mantra this year, reminding me that moving forward still matters, even when progress feels slow and the future is unclear.

Sprints - Heavy

Sprints is an Irish band I discovered this year. Their debut album, Letter To Self, was released, and this song is about anxiety, which I relate to more now than ever before. The song is angsty but also has a rebellious and fun spirit.

Karla Chubb's powerful, husky Irish voice comes alive in the chorus with the lines:

"And I can't sleep

And I can barely breathe

And I'm watching the world go around the window beside me"

Anyone with anxiety disorders of any kind will surely identify with that, I know I do.

Comeback Kid - Trouble In The Winner's Circle

Another band I was not familiar with until this year was Comeback Kid. The hardcore band released the very cool Trouble EP in 2024 that featured this song. The song is about a public meltdown and everything crashing down around you for all to see.

That is something I can identify with, not so much this year, but in 2024 I was still dealing with the fallout of mistakes I made in previous years. From habitual liar to recovering addict and everything in between.

The song also reminds me of how I've felt since winning the Extraterrestrial Challenge in 2023 and not reaching that level again.

Vampire Weekend - Hope

I included this song because Vampire Weekend has always been one of my favourite bands since its debut, and their new album, Only God Was Above Us, is another gem. There are a lot of great songs on that album, but Hope seemed a fitting way to bring this playlist to a close.

The song’s message reminded me to shift focus from what I can’t control to what I can, a perspective that has helped me navigate this year's challenges.

My wife, my youngest son and I are going to see Vampire Weekend at the Glasgow Hydro on December 8th, four days after the Fontaines D.C. gig.

Travis - Why Does It Always Rain On Me?

Closing with Why Does It Always Rain On Me? feels right—not just because it’s one of my favourite tracks, but because it perfectly encapsulates the bittersweet reflection of this year.

A year filled with challenges and small triumphs. Seeing Travis live will close the year with a sense of hope, a reminder that even through the rain, there’s always a way forward.