Be My Gal-entine?

The Earth has once again completely orbited around the sun. We have officially landed on Valentine’s Day. Valentine’s Day, a holiday half of the world highly anticipates. In the name of love, couples all across the globe make small gestures like picnics and love letters, to grand gestures like trips out of the country and marriage proposals. As for the other part of the world, this is just a big fat reminder of how single you are. For some this day hits hard. Scrolling through social media, you can find memes about how single and lonely Valentine’s Day makes people feel. The memes are meant to be funny but it’s hard not to feel sad at the underlying truth in those memes. The truth is, some people really feel alone and unworthy on Valentine’s Day. Seeing people enjoy that they've found true love is beautiful but seeing so much of it all at once, leaves outsiders overthinking. Thoughts like “I wish I had that”, “why don’t I have that?” or “Is there something wrong with me?” start up in our heads. I know, cause I’ve been there. If you are single on Valentine’s Day, the answer is no. There is nothing wrong with you for being single on Valentine’s Day or any other day. Being single on Valentine’s Day can mean you’re just not at that point in life yet. Although it hurts, know that it is okay. After all you can be my Gal-entine or Pal-entine. To celebrate this Gal-entine's, I chose some of what I think are the most fitting songs by some of my favorite gals.

NASA By Ariana Grande (2019)

First on my playlist, we have this masterpiece by Ariana Grande from her “Thank U, Next” album. In the song, she’s essentially telling her boo she wants space for the night (hence NASA). She expresses something very important in the song “Just making sure I’m good on my own tonight, even though there isn’t nothing wrong tonight.” I love that in the song she clarifies that although she wants to be alone that doesn’t mean she is mad at her significant other. Another part of the song that really speaks to me is “I just think I’m on another page tonight, it ain’t nothing wrong with saying I need me time.” Some people on Valentine’s Day are Valentine-less and alone by choice, which is totally fine. Going through phases where you just want a breather and time for yourself is normal and very necessary at times. Lastly she ends the song with “You can say I love you through the phone tonight.” Even in wanting space, Miss Grande still offers some type of connection. This song is sending a positive message, that you can put yourself first while still letting it be known that there is absolutely no love lost with the special people in your life.

Soulmate By Lizzo (2019)

The Second song on my playlist is from Lizzo’s album “Cuz I Love You” where she has many songs dedicated to self love. I must say out of the whole album, this one stole my heart. “True love ain’t something you can buy yourself, True love finally happens when you’re by yourself” Lizzo sings. For my single gals or pals this Valentine’s, Lizzo and myself want you to know that even if you may not have the love of a secondary person on this day...you can always channel the love you have for yourself. In the song Lizzo continues to sing about how she can make herself happy by doing the things she loves for herself. In the chorus she sings “Cause I’m my own soulmate, I know how to love me, I know I’m a queen but I don’t need no crown.” To me these lyrics were saying, I know I’m worthy and I don’t need anything specific to show that I am worthy. With the positive affirmations Lizzo sings, I see it as her releasing herself from the guilt and shame that is put on being single. I hope one day everyone can release themselves of that guilt and realize it’s okay to be happy by yourself especially on days like Valentine’s.

I Love Me By Demi Lovato (2020)

Last but definitely not least on my playlist is by none other than the iconic Demi Lovato. Of course the super authentic artist begins the song with her honest truth “Flipping through all of these magazines, telling me who I’m supposed to be. Way to good at camouflage, can’t see what I am, I just see what I’m not.” Right out of the gate, Demi Lovato is letting listeners into the most vulnerable parts of her. On a day like Valentine's it is easy to feel like we need a special person to measure up, which in turn can lead to only focusing on negative aspects of ourselves. Further along in the song the tone stays the same as she speaks on her struggles with criticism from herself and outsiders. “Why do I compare myself to everyone and I always got my finger on the self destruct” she confesses. To my gals and pals, it can be hard not to size yourself up with others on a day where many people are being shown off and highly appreciated. This song may start off on the melacholy side but fear not. Towards the end of the song she starts to express love for herself as she sings “I’m my own worst critic talk a whole lotta sh*t but imma ten outta ten even when I forget." I applaud Miss Lovato for starting off with the ugly truths of the self love and the self worth journey. Despite the down sides, she ends with the message that, even with her flaws and her fluctuating feelings, she still chooses to love herself. To add to this message, on this Valentine's and onward I challenge you to love yourself as you are. I know not all of us can be Miss Grande where we are naturally okay with space and solitude. Not all of us are Lizzo's, completely owning who we are and dominating it. Some of us are Miss Lovatos, it takes a while to except oursleves for everything that we are but it is possible with patience and grace towards ourselves.

Own your singleness on this day and every other day you choose to be single. Buy your self chocolates, flowers, food, whatever! Jam out to some of your favorite music, hopefully some from my playlist make it in there. Whatever you do, don’t feel like there’s anything wrong with you for being single, embrace it, and have a beautiful Gal-entine’s day!!!