Owl Observed

“Milla!” I heard my mom call from downstairs. “Are you up?” She continued in her soft tone. I always wondered why she never became a therapist. My moms voice could calm storms and if her voice could calm storms I feel like she could heal broken hearts as well. I’m going to miss her voice, see my mom doesn’t have a lot of time left here. It’s cancer and cancer is what they call a female dog if you will. I’m not ready for her to leave but she’s made peace with it. As far as my dad I can see he’s trying to be strong while she’s here, I don’t know what the story will be when she’s not here anymore.

“Milla!” I heard a not so soft voice call from downstairs. “Yes dad!” I yelled back as I rushed for my book bag and my shoes. “We have to get going honey, you’re gonna be late” my dad persisted. I took one last glance at myself in my bedroom mirror and dashed down the stairs.

“My beautiful baby girl” my mom said as her eyes watered. I looked down at my boyfriend jeans, paired with a red turtleneck body suit, and of course my worn out hight top white converse. I don’t know what my mom saw in me. Maybe it’s something I’ll only know when I become a mother but for now 16 so that’s a long way. I looked back up at my mom only to find that my eyes too were watering.

“Okay enough water works you two or if not I’ll have to join you and we’ll all be late.”

My mom and I let out a little giggle.

I positioned my self to her right side holding her hand as we walked out our house. My dad locked the door behind us and positioned himself on my moms left side and held her left hand. We helped her in the passenger seat and then got in the car ourselves.

We began the drive to school it was quiet and peaceful as usual. My dad slowed down as we passed the trees we weren’t slowing down for the trees though. We were slowing down for olive. “My what a beauty” my mom said as I watched her coffee brown eyes widen in the side mirror of the car. “Yes she is” I said only I wasn’t looking at olive, I was looking at my mom. My mom use to have brown long luscious curls but with everything all I saw now where colorful scarves wrapped around her head. I didn’t mind the scarves, even in sickness my mom managed to make it look glamorous. I snapped out of the trance I was in and looked out the window to see olive. Olive was a barn owl, who was surprisingly always right outside sitting on the trees we would pass to school in the morning. Olive didn’t always use to be there though. It seems like she had just shown up around the months my mom got sick. My mom loves animals, birds specifically so I know she enjoys seeing olive every morning. I love seeing olive too, but it was for a different reason. I felt olive was a sign or symbol of something. Olive showed up on the trees approximately when my mom got sick. Olive is probably supposed to be a guardian angel of mine when my mom is gone. I would never tell my mom this because I don’t want her to freak out or feel sad. Deep down I know olive means more then just a pretty owl who for some reason keeps showing herself in the morning.

“Milla....Milla....MILLA” I heard my name being echoed pulling me away from my thoughts. “We’re here my little day dreamer” my dad said making a silly face. He’s right I am a heavy day dreamer but mostly because my thoughts are so profound I end up drifting into my own little world.

“Bye mom, bye dad” I said blowing them a kiss and waving goodbye. I opened my door, hoped out, shut it and sped walk into school. I greeted my English teacher as I walked into class and found my seat next to my best friend Sammie.

“How’s your mom doing?” Sammie asked as she did everything morning.

“Good, I’m just happy she can at least ride with me and my dad in the mornings still” I replied.

“Aw I’m glad bestie” she said as she pulled her hand up to mine and gave it a squeeze.

The day passed by pretty quickly, I was finally in my last period of the day which was history. I was writing down ten facts about the civil war when I saw the principal walk in and pull my teacher outside. My heart began to race and my hands became shaky as I tried to concentrate on writing. My teacher came back inside the classroom and started walking towards the back where I was seated. I took a big gulp and tried to contain my shakiness. Sure enough I heard “Milla” discretely escape my teachers lips as she stood in front of my desk and signaled me to follow her. Although anxious I got up and grabbed my things with no hesitation, this was my life now. My teacher looked down at me with sorrow as if she wanted to say something more to me. I looked up at her and said “it’s okay” no words of encouragement or of sympathy were needed. Times like these were hard but it seemed like outsider words and looks of sadness made it worse.

As soon as I passed the school doors I ran outside to see my dads suv waiting for me on the curb. I hopped in the passenger seat and began to freak “Where’s Mom?!” “Is she okay?!”

“Yes, yes Milla mom is fine, she is just weak right now and at the hospital, I’ll explain more when we get there.” Hearing that my mom was okay calmed me but the realness of it all was what worried me.

I watch as my mom peacefully sleeps in her hospital bed. I pleaded with my dad to let me stay over night with her but he insisted that I go to school tomorrow because of exams. “Mom would want you there” he said. Those words were the only reason why I didn’t fight back. Whatever I had to do to keep my mom at ease I would.

My aunt picked me up from the hospital to drive me home. I noticed she didn’t even walk in to greet my dad in the hospital. My mom was my aunts little sister. I can see in my aunts eyes how she doesn’t want to accept this, how she wants avoid as much pain as possible. My aunt barely talked to me the whole ride, she asked me about school, friends, boys and left it at that. “Mom loves you auntie” I said as we pulled up to my drive way. My aunt put the car in park and turned her head to look at me, I saw her eyes begin to water. She pulled me in for a hug and let her emotions flow on the shoulder of my jacket. I’m glad my aunt let it out. “I love you Milla and I love your mom very much, this is just hard.”

I woke up the next morning to the small of eggs and bacon. I rushed to get ready for school cause one way you can get me up is food! I ran downstairs to see my aunt with a plate prepared for me I smiled and dug in. Soon enough we were on our way out and off to school. My aunt sure knows how to get a teenager out of bed and in high spirits. I looked out the passenger seat to see olive. I realized olive wasn’t in her usual tree, so I sat up from my mid slouch to get a better observation. Olive was not in the next couple of trees either. “STOP THE CAR” I yelled frantically. My aunt hit the breaks like we were about to hit a deer. “WHAT HAPPENED” she screeched. “Olive, olive!” I screamed as my eyes began to water. “Olive she’s not here” I said quietly as a tear rolled down my cheek. “Honey who is Olive” my aunt questioned with a look of concern and confusion. “Well if you were around you would know” I yelled as more tears streamed down my cheeks. I opened the car door and fled into the forest to go looking for olive.

“Milla! Milla!” I heard my aunt scream in panic as she came running after me. I began to run even faster all those summers in track weren’t for nothing and they were about to come to good use. As I blazed through the forest I looked up at the tall trees above me. Olive was no where in sight. I kept at it when I felt my foot get caught in something. All that was in my sight now was the dirt, grass filled ground then darkness. Heat exhaustion.

I began to feel a cold liquid I my face. When I opened my eyes I saw my aunt standing above me with a deer park water. “Milla you had me worried to death, what is going on” she said. I sat up on the forest ground and out came the truth “Olive auntie olive, she’s my guardian angel, she’s the one thing that will connect me to mom and watch over me when she’s gone.” My aunt continued with her look of concern for me and bent down to sit with me. “Milla honey, I don’t quite know who this Olive is and you’re right that could be because I’m not around. What I do know is no matter where your mother is she is always with you. Your mother will live on in you my dear. Let’s not forget that at one point she grew you in that belly of hers, your heart beat and her heart beat where in the same body once. Guess what, you’re just like your mother so strong willed. When her body is no longer on this earth, know that her presence is still with you and in you.” My aunt finished off what she was saying with a great big bear hug. I pulled my arms from underneath her strong embrace and hugged her back. “Now come on let’s get out of her and get you to school and you can tell me about this Olive” my aunt said as she let go. “Olive!” I screamed. “Yes Olive” my aunt chuckled. “No look, it’s Olive” I pointed to the tree above us. “An owl” my aunt said with the raise of an eyebrow. “Our owl auntie, moms, mine, and yours.”