2024: The Saga Continues Pt. 2

2024 has been a year of roller coaster emotions, and that's putting it lightly. Music has been there through every moment... the beauty and the horror. There are always two sides to every story, including mine for 2024. The first side covered the darkest moments, the failures, the despair, the pain and the heartbreak. It becomes easy to allow the moments of hopelessness to reign and overshadow the moments of light... but what good does that bring? The moments of joy, relief, calm and love may be few and far between... but they exist and that is what makes the music of them so much sweeter as 2024 concludes.

While January 2024 brought a mix of emotions, there was a fire within my soul. It wanted to fight and rage against the system. There was the urge to scream "FUCK YOU I WON'T DO WHAT YOU TELL ME!" The inferno within me was just getting started....

Valentine's Day brought a celebration of 27 years marriage to my husband. A celebration of love, friendship, overcoming challenges together for another year. A celebration of being alive for another anniversary. Every anniversary is a gift, and through my darkest moments, he is always there as my rock, always there to "Hold" onto me. He knows my darkest moments and my brightest, and 2024 gave us that 27th marriage anniversary to be grateful for.

With the continued struggles in the beginning of 2024, Spring brought me a wonderful blessing that gave me incredible strength and drive when I needed it most. I went to a Wiccan convention and as I played my part, and hid my broken... a shaman stopped me and asked if I wanted a reading. As he laid the cards out on the table and began... his words spoke the truth I had been hiding for so many months.

"Wow... you are so lost... you've given up... You are literally just going through the motions and you don't even know what you're fighting for anymore... do you?"

I instantly began to cry as wave after wave of unspoken heartbreak just fell from my eyes in that moment... because finally... someone actually saw ME. He then offered me words from my deceased grandfather... words that healed my heart in that moment... words I never realized how much I needed to hear.

"I see a strong male figure... oh, he says he's your grandfather... he's telling me to tell you that he's sorry. He is so very sorry that he didn't protect you when you needed him. He's sorry he didn't see what was going on... and he says that you should not feel any guilt for walking away from the family like you did. They were toxic and you do not owe them anything."

I was blown away in this moment. I never told him anything about my family. I never told him that I was far away from them. I never told him anything about what I was feeling. I was laughing and smiling with my bestie when we got to his booth... yet he knew the truth and he gave me an apology from my deceased grandfather that I needed more than I ever knew. He gave me the confidence to stay strong and not fold to my family. I was "Beautifully Broken" and no longer ashamed by it. I was free.

As summer 2024 arrived, I was bruised and battered from the turbulence of the first months of the year... but I was still standing. I still had fight left in me and I wasn't going to give in. I was going to rebuild, and I was determined to take a risk and do something for myself. Reckless as it was without another job lined up, I took that risk. I made the choice with my husband's unwavering support to leave a job that was mentally destroying me. I picked myself. I was determined not to give up... I was determined not to be afraid of "The Climb". I was going to embrace it and I did.

By July and August 2024, I was frustrated but I was still energized with determination to live as my authentic self more than ever. I refused to allow the world to dictate who I was, and I began writing again, writing for myself. I love writing and I closed myself off from doing it for so long by making excuse after excuse. I was too tired from working a job I hated, I had no inspiration left to give. I had nothing in me to express. I was afraid of failing... yes... that was the biggest one... I was afraid of failing to achieve anything at the one thing I truly loved doing. 2024 brought me "Into the Mystic" world of words after years of silence. I found my voice and the ability to let it flow from my fingertips freely once more.

I did receive a job offer in September 2024 that I almost convinced myself to settle for. I knew I needed the money, but did I really want to force myself to work for another bullshit corporation for low pay for a job with constant stress and demands to be met? 2024 brought me the ability to say NO to less than I deserve, to things that no longer served me, to jobs that were insulting and not worth my time or energy. 2024 brought me "Confidence"... something I thought I lost a long time ago. But it gave me a drive, a will, and a desire for more than settling in a corporate greed filled world order.

Fall of 2024 brought out more than just my confidence to turn down jobs that weren't worth my time or energy. It brought me the freedom to be loud and proud about my "Heathen" beliefs. I began to speak openly about my polyamorous lifestyle in my writings and to those around me. I began to speak about my Pagan beliefs and not shy away from them when asked what my chakra and amulets worn around my neck stood for. I embraced my right to believe and love in the way that was right for me after years of... not denying... but being quiet about it. I was proud of who I am.

As winter arrived and November brought such a crushing defeat that hurt my soul so much, I lacked hope and felt so much despair. Yet, as the last days of 2024 are here, I find my will to keep fighting shining out bright through the darkness. Something inside of me still feels that hope will prevail. I feel the flame and the fight still smoldering inside of me, resting but not extinguished. 2024 has shown me that I can fall hard, I can be knocked down harder, I can be broken and beaten but I will not stay silent anymore. And I'm not the only one. I feel the fight raging within others as the chorus of voices shout "We're Not Gonna Take It" despite the long road ahead. There is a purpose, there is a reason, and 2024 has brought lessons, but more importantly, it has brought determination and demand for more. Change will happen because of every moment that 2024 brought... and 2025... I'm ready for you!

2024 was about struggles and pain.

2024 was about darkness and rain.

2024 was about destruction and much was lost.

But, 2024 was not in vain, and I survived despite the cost.

2024 will fade into the past...

Yet the memories and lessons will forever last.

2025 I'm ready for you...

The lights might be out right now, still justice will eventually shine through.

© 2024 Luna Verity