Trip L.
Bio
A neurodivergent lost in the world, and creative expression is a grounding force that reminds me I am here, experiencing it all with you in the most beautiful of ways.
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A Trippy Reflection. Content Warning.
About me, I am the mother of a happy three-year-old girl who was born on the Fourth of July. She is stubborn, as most little ones are, and her favorite words are ‘no’ and ‘thank you’, in that order and often put together. I’ve always admired her energy and work out abilities. My ultrasound recording shows her doing what looks to be sit ups, and she would probably happily run the length of a football field and back if I let her. She’s given me a purpose I never knew I was capable of possessing and a lot of what I do is for her. Together, we play ukulele- or at least she tries, and I love her for it. I am a sucker for deep psychological and behavioral explanations, which is why Jordan Peterson is my advisor by delusion. I use the word delusion as I have never personally engaged with the Canadian celebrity and have admittedly little desire to. He is an incredibly intelligent man, and I feel any interaction had would be a strip down of who I am, like a psychedelic trip I am unprepared for. Yet, I love how people and our minds work. I found him seeking philosophical and psychological wisdom. If I find myself feeling unable to read the universe for answers, or feel it myself with clarity, I listen to his YouTube content- I also bought his book 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos to read- for an educated pep talk or piece of critical life advice to help guide me. What I’ve digested inspired great change, and I finally began postponed milestones such as continuing my education. This year after a Jordan Peterson clip, I finally applied to college with a focus in fictional creative writing and English. I started in May and just received attention for my academic success by being recognized on the SNHU Summer of 2023 Presidents List. My pen name Trip stems from a nickname given during a mushroom trip I had in my teens. I had fallen into a shrub while on a psychedelic trip with my friends in 2015 (there are many stories from this night), and my friend nicknamed Muscles had said I needed to watch out for my “trip toes”. This began my online username of “Triptoes” which has been simplified down to ‘Trip’ by friends and other online users to the point where it now feels anxiously weird being online and seeing or hearing my actual name. Other than being online as a writer, I am also online as an obsessive Call of Duty: Warzone 2.0 player. Obsessive means almost level 900 with over 650 logged hours😶. I do not stream, and I will not pretend I am the best player out there, but I definitely enjoy my time and do fairly well. While this is an unhealthy hobby I will admit, I have a great passion for video games that my parents never agreed with growing up, and so I have a great time overall. Growing up I wanted to be a video game designer, until I decided that I enjoy it more as a hobby than a profession. For work, I am a patient care advisor at a medicinal cannabis dispensary. It is currently illegal to recreationally use cannabis in the state of New Hampshire, and so I am a part of Sanctuary ATC, a nonprofit that provides alternative medicine to those who are approved by the state for medicinal marijuana use. I am not only an employee, but a medicinal patient as well. I was approved for back pain due to spinal and nerve issues in my lower back, and so I am an advocate for removing certain restrictions for cannabis use in hopes opiate use declines. I really enjoy my job and the opportunity it gives me to help my patients find relief in areas I understand needing support with. I use cannabis for other forms of relief since it personally seems as if my life is an unrefined movie. (Various trigger warnings! If easily triggered by mentioning’s of abuse and trauma, please skip to 7). I was kidnapped from daycare by scheming family members as a toddler, variously abused throughout my life, was placed in the system and filtered through foster homes until reuniting with my mom at seven. I’ve been exploited and abused. Abandoned and disregarded. The constant struggle I faced in my childhood resulted in feeling like I didn’t belong anywhere, even now. I did terrible in school and spent a lot of time in detention or being suspended. This did not go well with my parents and so I spent a lot of time in my bedroom learning origami or doing various crafts to avoid conflicting with them- although this happened regardless. I’ve had a rocky relationship with all of my immediate family for as long as I can remember. My sister is in jail for having taken a life- which is something that has made me nervous about sharing my real name online. With everything I have endured, things seem easier to just stay inside and focus on my family and lifestyle in order to avoid triggers, conflict or tension. A woman who knew about my sister's heinous crime had reached out and verbally attacked me in thinking I was like my sister behaviorally, so I do not use social platforms like Facebook or Instagram. People often want to find me on my socials, and while I understand that this is vital for building a following or marketing and business dealings of sorts, I find it to be an unhealthy gate to other content I find personally distracting. I also do not trust social media platforms, but this is probably due to being a bit of conspiracy theorist (bonus fact!). While I enjoy hearing various theories, I enjoy true crime YouTube clips the most. EWU Crew, Daves Lemonade, and JCS: Criminal Psychology- for example- are various creators I frequent! My second career aspiration growing up was to be a forensic scientist who would help solve crimes by finding the little things that criminals never expected would link them to a crime. This started with shows like Forensic Files before it evolved into podcasts such as True Crime Junkie or Morbid before turning over to YouTube for more interrogation style content. Human behavior is fascinating to me, especially with all I have witnessed and experienced. One of my favorite possessions is a signed copy of Life After Death by Damien Echols. Strangely, I find myself listening to these clips while I am preparing for dinner as background noise because like many others in this challenge, I love to cook! I am no Martha Stewart, and I have a very limited pallet I’ll admit, but that doesn’t stop me from doing my best to make things homemade. This comes from my partner and I cutting back on processed and sugary foods, as well as watching Kitchen Nightmares where Gordon Ramsey disgustedly complains about food frozen or food from a can near constantly. I am a sucker for Ramsey let me tell you. So, I began learning to cook, which comes fairly naturally to me and is something I discovered I really enjoy. For example, I make sweet cold foam every morning for my coffee (made with mushrooms; thanks, Wunderground Coffee!) opposed to using a pre-made can. As hinted towards with my alternative coffee choice, I love mushrooms and all things Fungi! This is something my partner and I both love, so it has become the theme of our home and a progressive mutual hobby. For Christmas last year, my mom bought me a vintage mushroom kitchen container set that I absolutely cherish. We have mushroom patterned curtains, a tapestry in our room, and several mycology and foraging books that can be found on our bookshelves. I finished a puzzle this week for the hallway wall titled “Morel of the Story” featuring amanitas and a morel that is super pretty and inspiring. I happen to love photography (bonus fact two!!) and so I have taken many photographs of mushrooms my partner and I discovered. One of them was bigger than my entire butt, and that was impressive.
By Trip L.2 years ago in Confessions
