TotalMomBlog

Pregnant & Battling Depression

Firstly, it’s more than likely that I’ve carried depression and mood disorders my entire life. Surpressed for certain occasions, certain emotions. However, pregnancy, although has been a completely miracle and joyous time, has heightened my depression and anxiety immensely. I find myself playing out scary and fearful situations through my head on a daily basis, casually. It’s terrifying! Usually it’s myself in a car accident or worrying about my S/O on his way back home. Practically anytime he holds me and showers me with love I begin to sob in tears and worry relentlessly about him. After all, he’s my soulmate and my bestfriend. I couldn’t make it through everyday life without him. Whatever it may be it’s never easy for me, it’s paralyzing. When riding in the car with loved ones it’s become common for me to panic and “make a scene” practically anytime any other cars are nearby or if at a busy intersection. It’s become pretty embarrassing I have to admit! Grabbing the door handle, pushing myself back, and preparing for the hyperventilating scene. But keep in mind though if you will, I was in a car accident just last year and although nobody was hurt I often believe that it did cause PTSD to a degree. I do believe becoming a mom has hightened those fears and anxieties though. On top of being pregnant, you’re basically not only responsible for yourself but for another person who is completely dependent upon you. No pressure!