Tanya Milks
Stories (2)
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When You Have Lost All Hope Part 2
I had already secured a 2 bedroom apartment for us to move to about 2 weeks later. After moving with my daughter, and separating from my husband is where I thought everything would start to go better. I was completely wrong looking back now, this is the point where my life started to go down. I just didn't' see it being the one in the moment, living it.
By Tanya Milks5 years ago in Motivation
When You Have Lost All Hope Part 1
Ever been in a point or place in your life, where you feel totally lost and alone? Feel like your the only one going through what you are? You feel like no one you know understands you or what your feeling, because is appears they are living these "perfect" lives. I have learned in my experience that no one lives these "perfect" lives that we think. Everyone is dealing with something and just putting up an appearance to make it seem that everything is "perfect". In fact the "perfect families" are actually not all that they appear to be and tend to actually be very unhappy on the inside, not showing it to the world. In 2013, I thought that I finally was living the "perfect life", with the "perfect family" . I had a husband, a 5 years old daughter, a nice house we were renting in a nice neighborhood, a nice family car and the ideal Store Manager job. I thought that things couldn't be better than what I had. Everyone thought that we were the "perfect" little family and had our lives all together, figured out. It was quite the opposite. This is my story over a 5 year period of going from being on top of the world to losing absolutely everything and everyone. I had never felt so alone in my life. My husband and I had been together for 7 years and married for 4 and a half of those 7 years. It was far from perfect in the last 2 months before I decided to leave and become a single mother. My husband had developed a very big online computer game addiction and every waking minute he wasn't at work, he was on his computer gaming in real time. I worked as a Retail Store Manager and was working about 50 to 60 hours a week, come home to make dinner, tidy up after, bath our daughter and get her to bed, all while he played on his computer. I felt alone doing it all. I happened to have got very sick and misdiagnosed twice with severe acid reflux, that within a 2 week period that I was very sick I lost over 30 lbs. not intentionally. When I was sick I asked him on 2 separate occasions to take me to the hospital because I was very weak and could barely walk, little alone drive myself to the hospital. The response I got both times was, "do you need to go right this second, I am just in the middle of this match and can't pause it." I thought getting married we take a vow to love each other in sickness and health. I was not feeling this at all. I instead ended up calling my mother to take me both times. I reflected on this a lot during my recovery time once I was diagnosed and treated properly. Why are we staying together? The love has died. I believe that we were both just tolerating one another for the benefit of my daughter, but in reality it wasn't benefiting her at all, seeing her parents never spending time together. That's when I made the difficult decision to speak to my husband one day after I got home from work. When I started to speak to him about how I felt, he immediately voiced that he knew this was coming and he felt it too. We were both very civil with each other and divided all our things, as well as made a verbal custody agreement for our daughter.
By Tanya Milks5 years ago in Motivation
