Shirley Gutierrez

Facts Or Fantasy

As I into enter this new phase of life,my so called golden years; I feel a sense of loss. Gone are the days of my youth and the adventure filled evenings I spent in search of myself. I know who I am now and what I want. The trouble with knowing is that I am now less tolerant of certain things, so as a result there are not many surprises left and it reduces the overall number of potential mates. At least, that's how I see things from my perspective. I'm willing to admit that I may just be wrong and welcome any useful input on the subject, but first allow me to clarify something. I have known the burning touch of true passion and the soul wrenching loss of true love, and that's part of the problem. I believe that having experienced these things has caused me to disregard anything or anyone that does not and cannot ever measure up to these heights of expectations. I fully realize and admit that this is far from fair to any other man on the planet, but it also leaves me disadvantaged and very likely to spend the rest of my life alone and/or entertaining one lost cause after another. Having clarified this point now it seems a good time to add a little twist to things now, you see the universe has decided to grant me some semblance of happiness despite my dilemma and impossible standards, but it does not come without cost and the price is not mine alone to pay. I thought it impossible to ever meet another human that I would connect with so totally and so easily. It was instant and so unexpected that it felt like waking from a 20 year slumber, sort of felt like coming home after a long exhausting journey and it felt good to have that connection again. As time went on the friendship feelings grew into other desires and yet neither of us really pushed the issue, both for our own reasons and we both knew of the others hesitation to cross that line. Just as things usually go in these matters, the line was crossed and crossed again, it was like the heavens opened and swept me up in rolling waves of ecstasy as golden rays of warm sunlight bathed my body in an endless downpour of heat and ending in an explosion of a zillion little starbursts.