sanlulu

unloveable

Emotions are like waves in the ocean, just as things seem to settle down, the next biggest wave comes along that can sometimes push people away. I dont want to push him away but im so scared that ill lose him that i cant even do anything without having a constant fear of losing my bestfriend. Its been almost two years since ive met him, for two years ive been holding my emotions back. Over the course of time ive seen him get involved with multiple girls, and as his bestfriend i give him advice every single time. If im on vacation, if im praying, if im with friends, if im doing anything, hes always there in the back of my mind. love its self can be the biggest blessing or the worst disease. I love seeing him happy, when he smiles his dimple slightly shows and his laugh is so unbearable. There were a couple times where i thought to myself, "maybe he does like me back". this one time after seeing a post of mine he texted a mutual friend of ours and asked if she had seen my post, proceeding to call me pretty, Which is not like him. Our friendship is more of a tough love thing, which i didnt mind until i developed feelings. I cried almost all night after setting him up with a friend. Now i know what youre thinking, "that is such a dumb move, why would you do that?" because no one knew that i liked him.