undoing

Where were you when his boot was crushing my throat? Where were you when the lights went out and god spoke nothing? I will never forget what you created in me. The fever still expels the viruses you left within me. None of you could truly embrace me. I think it had something to do with fear and yet my mind speaks of how lazy the past was. I laugh in a strange attempt to cope. I know who I am after all this time travelled. I am soaked in rage. Just waiting to feel the spark ignite it all. This derives from a place where the kid was sacrificed because the village had to burn. The people had to know their mistakes and there was a price to pay. Those fires still scream in my hollow pupils. Distant screaming like ringing in my ears.

Now I must endure the truth of creating a new fate. I struggle to understand these winds of change but nonetheless I am relentless in my perseverance. I know we can accomplish this crusade brother. No one believed in us genuinely. Forgive me for what you might witness.

I know how wretched doom can feel inside your lungs. I know how far people have gone to validate their pain. I've seen the blood spilled. It incites a need to pull myself apart. I do this through actions of self. No one is here for you. I can assure you. So if you follow me know you're not going back to what you knew before. This place you dare to define and explain is a graveyard of dreams. A joke orchestrated by the masses drowning in their own decay. It feels like the end of time until you realize the end is the beginning.

I remember when the ocean's chaos consumed me. It was relentless and it nearly stole the breath from me. Something brought me back. Over and over again. Is this hell? Am I not allowed to leave this space? No matter how close to death I get it refuses me. Suddenly it makes sense. That death is merely the idea of a door. I seek the door within myself that leads to enlightenment. I find clarity even knowing I don't know anything. Where will this leave me tonight? Tomorrow? The answer is simply now.

I try to flow like water. An example of navigating the fire. As I walk barefoot upon the soil of the earth. As I listen to the whispers of the air through the trees. How high determines how low. The objective is balance within focused thoughts created. Do I look like I need saving? I step from the edge and meditate for awhile. Observing all of it until it becomes bored with me and leaves me truly alone. Where comprehension of how we are all the oneness can be soaked in and utilized.

I will never forget what I witnessed in the dying galaxy within your eyes. It showed me timelessness. It showed me the truth that is a void not meant to be filled by reckless noise. I found out how all that was, all that is, and all that ever will be simultaneously changes infinitely. All must succumb to the fate of inevitable death and rebirth. In ways no one allows conversation for. I was approached by suffering and it's kin peacefulness. For an eternity I was the source of oneness existing. In this I transferred into the dimensions I couldn't perceive within my flesh and bones. I did not comprehend within the confines of the mind and the thoughts it was subjected to. I was something more than words filling this space. I was grateful.