Regular Person
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I do stuff but we're just getting to know each other so why don't you slow down a bit?
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White Rappers That Make Your Friends Roll Their Eyes
If you really love hip-hop, there probably are a few guys who you really dig who your friends just can’t stand. And for whatever reason, there’s no bad rapping like white bad rapping. I'd hate to perpetuate the separation of the races here, and I'm usually actually fighting for unity because we are all one man and one species after all, but I couldn’t help but make this list because it’s just too damn funny and true: these are the white rappers who make your friends roll your eyes deep into the back of their head.
By Regular Person6 years ago in Beat
Columbus, GA: One of America's Most Romantic Getaways
It strikes me odd, as a vast majority of my most romantic vacations are always in spots not known for their romance. Sure, I've done Paris, New York, Las Vegas, San Diego, London and all the rest, but all those places seem either overcrowded, overly expensive, or they happen to be just plain old tourist traps. To me, a key component to romance is reality, not fantasy. Fantasy works great for short affairs, but despite its glamorization by Hollywood and the music industry, there is nothing romantic or sexy about bumping uglies with random people. Romance comes with love, not lust.
By Regular Person6 years ago in Wander
'Road Redemption' Made My Dreams Come True
We all had that favorite video game growing up. To be fair, we all had more than one, usually segmented off into the varying genres old consoles and computers offered us gamers. (It's bemusing but I've become so hoary that I didn't initially realize there are plenty of adults who can't relate to what I am saying, game era wise.) For example, in my youth, Shadow Warrior was my favorite FPS (until Quake 2 came out), and Earthbound was my favorite JRPG, while Fallout 1 & 2 were my favorite WRPGs. On my Nintendo, I was addicted to shooting baddies as The Punisher and spent many an hour grinding away at the very first Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles game, which was brilliantly difficult, set in a (fairly) open world, and (sadly) unlike every other Turtles game to come after.
By Regular Person7 years ago in Gamers
Pepsi Loses Major Battle in War Against Coca-Cola
Sometimes ladies and germs, it is more than perfectly acceptable to admit that someone (or in this case, something) is vastly superior to yourself (or in this case, your product). As a life coach, Tony Robbins has a far better track record, larger network plus more books released than me, and never is the amount of times you will catch me denying it. If Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson was hitting on one of my beloved ladyfriends, I would be coming hard with a baseball bat or nearest object of destruction, because realistically, in what way (beside ability to make an ass of oneself) do I exceed The Rock? Hopefully in crazy if he ever does take fancy, and he is fond of North Florida trash, but as an intellectual would say, I digress. Another thing often said by intellectuals is repeat any lie enough times and some people are bound to believe it. I am left asking though, why in the name of all that is good would one sacrifice the intellect of your fellow human beings for mere profit when, if one is clever enough, another marketing strategy beyond lies and deceit can be crafted. Have we no desire for adherence to the truth any longer? An example: who amongst the upper echelon of society takes seriously an individual who believes Taco Bell to be the tastiest of all of the Mexican foods? When mentioning a social elite, I don't mean those whose bank accounts have numbers as high as myself on any given day, nay, when I say upper echelon, I refer to those who happen to have an abundance of traits such as grace, dignity, and/or taste.
By Regular Person7 years ago in Feast
Five Perverse but True Sexual Facts That Prove Humans of All Races are Equal
This article is a companion piece to the video series. Sex! I have it (luckily), you have it (hopefully), we all have it (right?), and we all love it (again, hopefully). As there are countless human beings who don't seem to be cognizant of the fact that all human beings are indeed in fact human beings, I decided it would be a good idea, through the use of sexual practices, to prove that humans are all the same, despite minor, unimportant differences. So sit back, relax, and enjoy this list of 100% true facts that prove if you look like a person, and if you talk like a person, chances are, you're probably a person.
By Regular Person7 years ago in Filthy
Why I Abandoned Politics (To Contemplate How Politicians Smell)
To be honest, following politics for the multipartisan political analysis/comedy group Drafting The Hill kind of gave me a (gigantic) nervous breakdown/existential crisis worthy of a pill-popping soccer mom who just found out her husband is banging his much younger secretary that I'm just now beginning to recover from. Politics, at a citizen (plebs) level, really isn't anything except us human beings yelling over each other, ignoring the ignorance of their own "side" whilst screaming at the top of their lungs, furious about what the other "side" is doing. These "sides" don't even represent our ideologies as a nation (except the most extreme of us), yet since the "other side" stands against things we despise (whether it be religion, guns, socialism, healthcare, immigration, environment, trans kids, etc.), battle lines have been drawn and it doesn't matter how alien the rest of the philosophy your party speaks; as long they have one's back on the issues that are (emotionally) important to their members. I know pro-gun liberals and atheist conservatives, because their stance on politics is discussing the distractions the media has us wallowing in instead of discussing what is truly going on. These individuals should think of themselves as just that, individuals, not cogs a part of a larger political machine of which their personality is inherently connected.
By Regular Person8 years ago in The Swamp
If You Got Mad at Starbucks, YOU Are the Racist
This Starbucks situation is really pissing me off. That might not be an eloquent way of describing the thoughts within me right now, but it is an accurate one. The corporation, whose products I am actually quite fond of, announced today that it will begin instituting a new policy where anyone, regardless of being a customer, is free to use their lobbies, couches, tables, chairs and bathrooms at any time, for however long they need. Some are calling this a perfectly reasonable and acceptable response to their racist policy of throwing out two black men for just sitting there and not buying anything, but then again, some people call Larry The Cable Guy the pinnacle of stand up comedy. Some people say a lot of things, and the diversity in intelligence that the human race is subject to is truly a detrimental thing to have happened. That 5%, 10%, 85% percent quote Edison has makes a lot of sense.
By Regular Person8 years ago in The Swamp
'SUPERHOT' Is Just That—Super Hot
It's the most innovative shooter I've played in years! If you've played the game, you both know how this statement is true, and a great reference. But it truly ranks up with Half-Life, Far Cry, Vampire The Masquerade Bloodlines and System Shock 2 as one of the most powerful first person shooters ever programmed. If you haven't played the game, and are just looking at the picture above, you might ponder my intense enthusiasm for the new fps from Piotr Iwanicki. Let me explain. Is it bad I'm paranoid about getting excited about a product by a guy named Piotr because I don't want to be accused of Russian collusion?
By Regular Person8 years ago in Gamers
Kanye Is Right: Slavery Was (and Still Is) a Choice
I've seen a lot of outrage recently. A lot of hate mixed with joke telling, name calling, and meme making. I'm reading long, curse laden, and often grammatically incorrect rants every single time I'm stupid enough to log onto social media. Kanye West, a man no stranger to pissing off large sections of Earth's population, is back at it again with the controversy (Damn Kanye!). This time though, instead of white people obsessed with Taylor Swift or South Park, he's been busy earning himself a reputation as an Uncle Tom by those once considered his faithful followers.
By Regular Person8 years ago in The Swamp
Why School Shootings Happen
Gun control only works to disarm law abiding citizens, as police, military, and criminals all will still have access to the latest and greatest in the firearms world. Needing gun control to curb school shootings is an overly emotional response created due to pity and fear. Guns are an easy scapegoat, but really, are they to blame? Are knives to blame in stabbings?In my opinion, school shootings are caused by a number of things, none of which have to do with the number of guns readily available to disgruntled children.
By Regular Person8 years ago in The Swamp
How Dock Ellis Pitched a No Hitter While High on LSD
Often times one can find a bit of history that is truly amazing. Like the invention of the airplane or the telephone or the first person who combined Jack Daniels with Coca-Cola. This story, much like the man with no legs who climbed Mt. Everest, or even that one time you should have been arrested but weren’t somehow because the cops got an emergency call and couldn’t waste their time with you, is in a word, unbelievable. This story is one of the greatest sports legends in not just the history of baseball, but in the history of the world. In 1970, Dock Ellis threw one of the game’s most notable no hitters, but the story starts much earlier than that.
By Regular Person8 years ago in Unbalanced
