Reed Alexander
Bio
I'm a horror author and foulmouthed critic of all things horror. New reviews posted every Sunday.
@ReedsHorror on TikTok, Blue Sky, Instagram, YouTube, and Mastodon.
Check out my books at reedshorror.com
Stories (317)
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Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'Dreamcatcher' (2003)
GROOOOOAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! Ugh, I remember this movie being bad, but not this bad. I know books very rarely translate into good cinema, but Stephen King was always the exception to that rule. Fire Starter, Misery,Cujo,Maximum Overdrive,Salem's Lot, Pet Cemetery, Needful Things, the list goes fucking on for King movies, and not a damn one isn't a fucking classic in its own right... Then we come to this fucking movie. Jesus-fucking-Christ, even 1408 wasn't this bad! What the fuck happened?!?
By Reed Alexander7 years ago in Horror
Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'Baskin' (2015)
So I learned something new today. Turk-core is pretty fucking awesome...it might be the only thing good about this movie. Honestly, this movie was cheap torture porn. I mean, it was fun when it finally got going, but it took a long fucking time to get there and really, torture porn is kinda lame. After Hostel, it just got played out. Now Saw is what, 8 fucking movies deep and every other slasher movie turns into torture porn near the end?
By Reed Alexander7 years ago in Horror
Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'Beyond The Black Rainbow' (2010)
The FUCK did I just watch? I think this movie was trying to give it's viewers the residual sensation of prison rape. Seriously, this movie was fucked up. It's like the director would do a hit of acid, viciously beat off until unconscious, write down what he dreamt about, then made a fucking movie about it.
By Reed Alexander7 years ago in Horror
Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'The House October Built' (2014)
Oooookay, what can I say about this movie that I haven't already said about Shaky Camera in general... This was bad, and really, it shouldn't have been. If you haven't seen Digging Up the Marrow, watch that instead. Digging Up the Marrow gets this concept right where this movie gets it consistently wrong. I get that mockumentaries technically have to be done with a shaky camera, but Jesus-fucking-Christ. When I dubbed the 'Found Footage' genre as shaky camera, I was trying to mock the concept, not inspire it. You can't just giggle the camera around and hope it will fill in for a lack of atmosphere. I mean, fuck, you're shooting mostly out of haunted house attractions. These people basically made your fucking atmosphere for you, so what exactly is your excuse?
By Reed Alexander7 years ago in Horror
Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'John Dies at the End' (2012)
This movie was fan-fucking-tastic. I'm not sure what to label it under though. I mean, it is supposed to be horror comedy, but it's actually more like your classic Terry Gilliam film. Many elements of it are intended to be horrific, or unsettling, but then, Time Bandits was no horror, Barron Munchhausen was no horror, even as much as they occasionally included the horrific, gory, or disturbing. This movie was meant to be fantastic. It was meant to be all levels of weird necessary to make the viewer uncomfortable, and yet keep them interested... Like a virgin at a strip club really.
By Reed Alexander7 years ago in Horror
Reed Alexander's Horror Review of "Citadel"
This was under zombie movies on Netflix, which is a bit of a misrepresentation. I wouldn't say the creatures in this movie aren't zombies, more like demons. Not really a spoiler, they get up close and personal with them pretty quick.
By Reed Alexander7 years ago in Horror
Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'It Follows'
Alright. I was impressed. This wasn't the steaming pile of red hot bloody diarrhea that I was expecting. I guess I have to give Dimension Films some credit... I haven't done that since Event Horizon. But yeah, I can give this movie my general approval even though it has GOT to be one of the all time dumbest concepts I've ever heard of. A sexually transmitted demon... mmmmokay. I guess it's original.
By Reed Alexander7 years ago in Horror
Reed Alexander's Review of 'Don't Blink' (2014)
This movie was... okay. I wanted a little more from it and at times, the pacing dragged a bit. But the premise was good, the atmosphere spot on, and the acting pretty solid for horror. Not saying it was stellar, but better than most horror acting, at least.
By Reed Alexander8 years ago in Horror
Reed Alexander's Review of 'Infini' (2015)
Yeah, this was a pretty fucking awesome movie. Not sure if I'd call it horror, but it was an awesome movie. My biggest problem is they kinda pussied out on the ending. Okay, no they totally pussied out on the ending... I'll get into more details about that in the spoilers, but, for the most part, the movie itself was pretty fucking good.
By Reed Alexander8 years ago in Horror
Reed Alexander's Review of "Popcorn (1991)."
Yeah, this was a fun movie. It was DUMB. I mean D. U. M. B. It was hammy as all hell and just plain silly as fuck. But I was just recently talking about the movie "Leprechaun" with some friends, and as I explained... that's kinda the fucking point! This is good-bad done right. You got the sense that the people making this movie had a lot of fun. It shown through with each scene and a lot of their dialogue. The plot itself was even kinda meta and also a lot of fun. I mean, a slasher at a horror grind house triple feature? C'mon, they knew this was going to be fun.
By Reed Alexander8 years ago in Geeks
