Palmira Campos

I Lost My Damn Mind

On November 14th at 3 AM I was desperately trying to fall asleep. I hadn’t been able to sleep for many many years. In fact sometimes the pain was so severe that I would stay awake for 2-3 days at a time. I remember realizing that I was not able to control my actions. Every time I passed an item I would have to rearrange everything in a newer better manner. Finally I was so exhausted that I started knocking items off the counters and onto the floor. I knew physically that I would not be able to pick it up due to the many disabilities that plague my body. I’ve been closely managing my health for the past 18 years to try and have a resemblance of a life. I was living day to day more miserable than the last. I was forced to retire because I couldn’t remember how to do my job. In an effort to manage my health better I discontinued use of heavy dose pain killers to using medical marijuana. I’ve never really used it before other than a puff or two. I felt alive when I smoked it. No more pain, nausea and more energy. I was actually able to go shopping, make dinner, take a shower and clean up my house. I got it in my head that more is better. When I couldn’t control racing thoughts, nor stop myself I knew I needed to get help. My phone was dead, I live out in the country and it was the coldest night on record for the year, around 5 degrees.