Nicole Monet Quinn

Suicide Ideation Awareness Costume

Content Warning: Suicide, cutting, and some graphics. Hi :) My name is Nicole, and since this is my first entry on Vocal ((I've been dying to start an account for years,)) I thought maybe I should start this by telling you a little bit about myself ((start with the lighter traumas before we dive into the deep end.)) I am a 35 yr old cis female living with Schizophrenia, Complex PTSD, and Dissociative Identity Disorder. I am extremely driven by my creativity- and I also use it to heal through "Art Therapy," which is something I will probably want to talk more about as time goes on. Art Therapy is the biggest reason I still feel like a person, with hopes to function better, more and more as time goes on. My main creative outlets are fashion, music, and writing-- hence the reason Vocal caught my eye in the first place. Most of what I write about here in the future will probably be about living with my disorders and the things I am trying to do in order to prevent my symptoms from worsening more than they already have as of recently. My hope is to spend my lifetime essentially creating as much awareness as possible through the channel that is me in the times I am able to- about important topics such as mental health, suicide ideation, art therapy, and anything else that I struggle with and things I have found to help with that struggle or ease the pain. Since I was diagnosed at 17, I have treated myself as my own science experiment ((I have an Associates Degree in Science)) and I have been actively studying what it means to have the mental illnesses I have, and everything I can do to try and live a life as high functioning as possible. My plans are to finish writing a book about these things, and also launch a docu-series on what its like to live with schizophrenia, cptsd, and DID in particular- as I have been filming for 5 years+. My biggest goal is to open my own facility one day that helps people deal with mental illness, suicide ideation, addiction, and extensive trauma with a focus on child molestation. I have about a million ideas and a million different things I would like to do with the life I have been given- but I am hindered greatly lately by the worsening of my condition. For example- I feel like uploading on this platform will help me to compile everything a little bit better for the book I would like to finish and release one day, but I have developed speech problems as my schizophrenia has worsened in the past 5 years or so. Usually. i type like. this. so that. i can use. the periods. as "stops" for me to "stop" and take a breath and focus . on how to get. the next word. out. instead. of getting frustrated. and quitting. and going. mute. This also essentially. happens when. I speak out. loud- causing me to pause. often in between. words. or phrases. Thankfully for you- I also suffer from obsessive compulsive disorder- and I know how to edit out the periods that give me uncontrollable anxiety about the way they must look and how hard it must be to read that way! So I will do what I can in order to edit to the best of my ability, but i might not fuss so much over the "i'"s being capitalized- i hope thats okay :)