Michelle Buckaloo

Lost and Found

My grandmother, (my mimi) had been like a mother to me, always taking in my sister and I, when my mentally ill mother was hospitalized. Now my nine year old mind couldn't accept that she had supposedly died of a sudden heart attack. Surely they were lying. "Surely this was just a bad dream", I thought. As the reality sank in that she was really gone, memories flooded my young mind, of all the good times we'd spent together. I began to contemplate the new uncertainties in my life, I felt abandoned by the only person who loved and cherished me. My mother was emotionally unavailable and self absorbed. My father had left before I could remember, and grandpa (my pipi) died before mimi, when I was three. "Where will I go when mom gets sick again? Who will I play card games with me, teach me calligraphy, and listen to how my day went?," I thought, already feeling the loneliness setting in, as I didn't have many friends in our secluded area.