Madison Baigent
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Polk-a-dot Rubber Boots
There weren’t always dragons in the Valley. With their arrival, the Valley is not only a place where dreams die and drunks thrive, but now a place where dragons fly. My everyday life has become a remixed version of d&d called drunks & dragons. Every alcoholic attempting to slay or ride the mythical creature to complete a quest they just discovered they were destined for. That discovery always varies. Yesterday I had a regular at the pub tell me the whiskey whispered to him, when I asked what it said, he told me it was too quiet to make out and that I needed to pour him another. Today Ed told me he saw his quest in the booze he brought back up 10 minutes before, he refused to let me clean it up until he drew his ‘map’ out. And now over half the population has disappeared, drunks and dragons do not mix. I seem to stand alone as I watch everyone marvel at their arrival, unable to contain my raging anger. Their powerful wings could carry them anywhere in the world, to places where drunks wouldn’t try to harm them, to places where dreams fly just as high as they do and instead they flew here. My brain has been spinning round and round like a broken record player and I still can’t make sense of the why. The valley is lifeless. Picture an artist creating a beautiful outline for a painting and then just forgetting to add color, or people, or anything that brings actual joy and fulfillment. That is my home, a quarter finished painting forgotten in the back of a closet. All anybody does here is work and drink and if it were possible, I'd say the lack of actually living our lives is causing the town to fade further. The taste of our food is bland, the music is off key, and every living thing is dead surrounding the Valley except us. I shake my head, physically attempting to shed the tsunami of emotions that crash into me. The strength of the waves grow each time, and as it grows my desire to hold on any harder shrinks. I’m tired. Loneliness and despair slam into my heart causing tears to trickle down my cheek as the water holds me in its cold embrace. The waves crash against my frigid body, showing no mercy. Only as another wave threatens to drown me entirely does the numbness consume me. And when the water calms, nothing has changed, I'm still stuck in this place, too numb to ever escape. I expect the valley to be this way, though that expectation doesn't make it any more bearable. The bright, bubbly girl with her yellow polk-a-dot rubber boots and head in the clouds has been hiding for years and the woman I see in the mirror is just as lifeless as the Valley. Now I'm no drunk who has seen a sign in my vomit or had spirits whisper to me but I can’t deny the pull I've felt since the dragon's arrival almost 2 weeks ago. I fall asleep on a creaky old mattress, listening to the flap of their wings and when I wake I’m outside, fresh earth beneath me, drifting closer to them even in sleep. The dragons are making me have to work twice as hard to shove that little girl deep down inside my heart, I don’t have time for her excitement and honestly I don’t think I could handle another let down. The more you dream, the higher your expectations, the stronger the world can hurt you. Crushing what you cherished until there is nothing left. No dream, not even the arrival of dragons can convince me otherwise. The world is cruel to dreamers, more cruel than drunks and that's saying something. So no, these dragons change nothing, and I will not let them take up a single grain of space inside my heart for hope. I will not.
By Madison Baigent4 years ago in Fiction
The Unknown Mystery
Dear Mom, Do you remember that time you told me your car had been scratched up? You said it was a “hit and run”. You were right but I’m the one that hit and ran. Before I continue, if it makes you feel any better, I promise I didn’t keep you alone in the dark, I left everyone there, I think even myself for a little while.
By Madison Baigent4 years ago in Confessions
The in Between
Life is about the journey not the destination. I repeat, life is about the journey NOT the destination. In life we make plans, goals to try and bring ourselves happiness and purpose. Our goals could include; traveling, post secondary education, buying a home, marriage, children and so on. And we work hard to try and check those goals off our lists (which are usually pretty lengthy). We put all of our efforts into them to achieve what we are looking for, joy. And can you guess what happens? We try so damn hard to find joy that more often then not we lose it. We search so hard that we become lost. And the truth is, that life isn’t meant to be planned. It’s not a linear path and it certainly doesn’t listen to us. Life simply just happens. Whether want it to or not and whether we are ready or not. And it is happening. Happening all around us and constantly buzzing with moments waiting to be made. But sadly we miss those moments, we don’t even acknowledge them or even know they exist because we are fixated on our plan - on how our life is supposed to be and what it’s supposed to look like. Then we blink and that moment, that buzz of opportunity is left unexperienced. I’m not saying don’t have goals and I’m not saying don’t try and accomplish those goals but what I am saying is to look up. To smell the damn roses. Did those roses just smell nice and you moved on? Did you get stung by a bee while smelling them and turn around? Did you see a butterfly and follow it through the field? Or did those roses lead you somewhere? Somewhere you didn’t even know you needed or wanted to be. We imagine our perfect package of a life. We pick out the wrapping paper, which bow to put on top, how big or small it is, and what goes inside. And then we just stare at it, waiting to rip it open, longing for the purpose it will bring and the things that we expect from it. Little do we know if we just took our eyes off that package for just a second and look around we would see billions of different ones. Packages in colors you didn’t even consider that you love. Decorations you never knew existed. Filled with desires you never knew you wanted. And how could you know any better? How would you know you wanted the forest green wrapping paper with a big yellow bow? How would you know you didn’t even want the package? And how would you know you loved roses if you never smelled them? We simply wouldn’t. Because learning those things requires experience. It requires living and learning. It requires saying yes or no. It simply requires looking up. Open your senses, use them and listen to that buzz of opportunity because it’s loud and it’s waiting. Life is waiting for you to zig zag, to loop back around, to swing, to fly, to dance, to sing, and to just be. Because life is the in betweens, it’s the unknowns, it’s the roses and it is all around you. There are endless flowers to smell and they are waiting for you to claim the moments and memories that they will bring. To fulfill that joy and purpose that you so desperately seek. Because life doesn’t always come in the package we expect but it comes and if we are fixated on what we expect we miss out on what we need.
By Madison Baigent4 years ago in Humans
