Leslie Cane
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Should You Reach Out To Your Spouse During A Trial Marital Separation?
I hear from a lot of women who are walking a very fine emotional tightrope. Their husband has left. Maybe he says he needs space. Maybe he says he’s not sure if he wants the marriage anymore. Maybe he won’t give you any reason at all. And now, these panicked wives are left wondering:
By Leslie Cane9 months ago in Families
Why Validating Your Husband's Desire For A Divorce Might Save Your Marriage
I have written many articles about preventing divorce and saving your marriage, so I suppose it is no secret that, for the most part, I believe that it is always possible to save your marriage even if your husband insists that he wants a divorce. Over the weekend, I received an email from someone who said, in a nutshell, “I absolutely do not want a divorce, but he does. Divorce is a worst-case scenario for me. I believe marriage is forever, but I think he is going to pack his bags any day now. What can I do?”
By Leslie Cane9 months ago in Families
How Can A Wife Make Things Good Again With An Unhappy Husband?
I often hear from wives who are reeling after hearing words no wife ever wants to hear: “I’m just not happy anymore.” Sometimes, the husband says it gently. Sometimes, it comes out during an argument or a serious conversation. Sometimes, he straight up tells you — not caring how much it hurts. Either way, the impact is the same — heartbreak, panic, and confusion.
By Leslie Cane9 months ago in Families
My Husband Is Pushing Hard For A Separation, But It's The Last Thing I Want
I’m sometimes contacted by panicked wives who tell me that their husbands is pushing for a trial separation and they want to know how to change his mind before he walks out the door. Their thinking is that, once their husband has actually left, it’s going to be harder to get him to come back than it is going to be to convince him to stay. I understand this, especially since you probably don’t want the trial separation to eventually lead to a divorce. However, you mustn’t panic here and act in such a way that is going to push your husband further away, or only reinforce the fact that a break may in fact be a very good idea. This article will give you strategies and tips on how to handle the separation (should it happen) and how to prevent it in the first place.
By Leslie Cane9 months ago in Families
How Does A Wife Know It's Time To Give Up On Her Marriage?
Since I often write about saving a marriage (even when you are the only one who wants to), I am often contacted by people (usually wives, but sometimes even husbands) who ask me “when to end a marriage.” This is obviously quite a loaded question, but with a little follow-up, I am usually able to determine that they really want to know some sort of variation of the following questions: “When is a marriage really over?”Is my marriage too far gone to save it?” Is my marriage worth saving?” and “Is there some sort of cut-off point when a marriage reaches the point of no return?” In this article, I will try to answer these questions for you and offer you some tips to ponder to help you decide if your marriage is really at its natural end. (Hint, in my opinion, most are not.)
By Leslie Cane9 months ago in Families
I Don't Think My Husband Loves Me Romantically Anymore. How Can I Get Him To Love Me Again?
I often write about strengthening your marriage, returning a marriage to an intimate place, and preventing divorce. Recently, I heard from a woman who asked me if I would share with her “how to make my husband love me again.” Well, this is somewhat of a loaded question, but most wives in this situation want a few different things: 1. She wants to restore intimacy and closeness in her marriage. 2. She wants to feel that her husband understands, cherishes, and appreciates her. And, she wants to feel desired, loved, and wanted by her husband again.
By Leslie Cane9 months ago in Families
Finances Are Destroying My Marriage, And A Divorce Will Break Me Financially
Money has always been a serious stressor to marriage (and is often listed as the number one cause of divorce.) But, as the world economy takes a nosedive, many couples watch helplessly as their assets and savings dwindle, while others face job loss and homes in foreclosure. Watching events like the stock market losing 700 points with no real end in sight can bring about feelings of vulnerability and panic that can seriously stress even the most stable marriages.
By Leslie Cane9 months ago in Families
Should You Agree To Take A Break From Your Marriage If It Means Saving It?
I often write about saving your marriage and preventing divorce. One of the tips I often give is that if the husband is just not responsive to your attempts to save the marriage, has one foot out the door, and you are just not getting through to him, you should (as a last resort) agree that a break is needed. This is because agreeing will greatly lessen the tension and any of the walls that he is putting up to block your attempts at reconciliation. In essence, agreeing with your husband is meant to buy you time and make the job of saving the marriage ultimately easier. In this article, I will clarify what I mean when I say that there are situations where you should agree with your husband when you are trying to prevent a divorce or save a marriage.
By Leslie Cane9 months ago in Families
When A Husband Admits He Sometimes Loves His Wife, But Sometimes Doesn't - What Does It Mean? What Should You Do?
I sometimes hear from wives who are completely shaken when their husband says something like, “Sometimes I DON’T love you,” or “Sometimes, I don’t know how I feel about you anymore.” And sometimes, he doesn’t willingly say this. You have to coax it out of him, so you know he’s not just saying it for effect.
By Leslie Cane9 months ago in Families
If You've Tried Everything To Save Your Marriage, Try This Instead
Because I often write about saving your marriage and avoiding a divorce, I’m sometimes approached by wives who tell me that they’ve tried “everything,” and yet nothing works to change the husband’s mind about a divorce. This article will outline some steps that may work. If you haven’t tried these tactics, I think that you definitely should before you throw in the towel. If you have tried them all and none have worked, then I’ll list a backup “last-ditch effort” plan at the end of this article.
By Leslie Cane9 months ago in Families
My Husband Wants To Divorce Me, But Still Wants To Be Intimate
This question is actually more common than you may think. When couples are in crisis or are in talks about taking a break, splitting up, or divorcing, emotions can run high, and doubt can creep in. Affection, attraction, and love can still be smoldering under the surface even if a couple is experiencing hard times. This is all understandable, but sex amongst couples who are divorcing or splitting up can be very difficult and can be confusing for both parties.
By Leslie Cane9 months ago in Families
Asking Your Reluctant Husband For A Second Chance At Your Marriage Without Making Things Worse
I’ve dialogued with a lot of people who want nothing more than another chance in their marriage. Sometimes, their spouse has already asked for space, a break, or even a divorce. Other times, things haven’t gone quite that far, but the marriage still feels fragile or tense, and they’re hoping for an about-face so that they can save their marriage. They often ask me the same question: How do I even begin to ask for a second chance without making things worse?
By Leslie Cane9 months ago in Families