Kelly Smalley-Ray

Total Transparency

Being transgender is a battle. Never knowing how the day could turn out for you, can be a scary thing. I started out on my transitional journey back in April of 2018. I was excited, knowing that one, I would be the woman that I felt I was inside. Which ever since I was young, I knew that something about myself was off. I know a lot of people say that kids that came out as gay played with dolls, make-up, heels, and jewelry. I however, was a completely different story. My mom told me that I would go out of my way to be a little girl. She told me that raising me was like raising another daughter. Which when she told me, I could do nothing but smile. Life for me was not simple. My sister, was the blessed child. She got whatever she wanted. I was mostly an outcast. My dad would get mad when my mom done anything for me. My family just seen me as odd and strange. I didn't make perfect grades, I didn't have a lot of friends, and I was not the best looking little boy in school. I ended up leaving school when I was only sixteen. I worked a job, and started trying to live the best way I could. I was not happy, but I had to learn to support myself. That was when I let my did talk me into joining the military. I did love the military. I met the love of my life there. Andrew Myles Clark, was a man after my own heart. We were together for five years. I had served my time, but Andrew had decided to stay enlisted in the Army. I was proud, and concerned at the same time. On July 17th, 2014, I had received a call from Andrew's mother. His vehicle had ran into an I.E.D. Him and his battle buddies were killed. I felt devastated. I felt as if my world had ended.