Kelli Sheckler-Amsden
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Telling stories my heart needs to tell <3 life is a journey, not a competition
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Jolly Ol’ Saint Nick. Top Story - December 2022.
Spinning rooms and floating doors I’m not in Kansas or sleeping - no more But how to explain - exactly what I am seeing If I am awake and not safely dreaming * The holidays arrived like before, pretty quickly We are just days away from visits with jolly saint Nicky 🎅 So how is he sitting beside me here on my bed With visions of unicorns circling my head? * He says, he can’t see them - I must be confused Sleep deprived, tipsy or have a major screw loose Whatever it is, I think Im losing my mind He said he will hang around - just to help me to find it * I had it this morning - while I was at work I could have lost it in the car-others were driving like jerks He’s belly laughing at me - I’m not sure what is so funny Omg he just turned into an oversized bunny 🐰 * How the hell did that happen? I only blinked once Well, maybe I dozed off, boy- I feel like a dunce I took a few ambien - just before bed Maybe that could explain it, and this is all in my head * I noticed my Santa is missing from off of my lawn And he arrived out of nowhere sometime after I yawned But how did he manage to get in the front door - his hands attached to his side? He said stop asking all those stupid questions, I got a sleigh - come on, let’s ride * All the reindeer are here and they’re not tiny at all And rudolf, that asshole - just took a dump in the hall I stepped into it barefooted and they all started to laugh They sound like elves sucking helium - after a bath * And they needed one too - they all smelled like old farts They shifted shapes, so we all fit into the jacuzzi heart- tub My mom loved that ol’ tub - I thought would be in the way Oh what the hell - lets all go get into that sleigh * We took off with a start, I began quickly to swoon I felt just like ET flying in front of the moon It was so big and so bright Santa handed out sunglasses 🕶 Then everything became slow - like winter molasses * We traveled all over the world, from Bangkok to Utah When the reindeer got tired, Santa rented a U-haul He said not to tell anyone what I had seen Took my sunglasses off, said it’s was all just a dream 💤 * He then snapped his fingers- and counted to three He said, wake up now, you have to go pee And boy, was he right- I would have peed on myself But it’s happened before, I blamed the elf on the shelf * Those boys must be best buddies, he told me to tell him I’m sorry Told me his real name wasn’t dick, it was actually, Charlie I crawled back into bed - my bladder empty and light Hearing yelling outside, saying, to all a goodnight 🌙
By Kelli Sheckler-Amsden3 years ago in Poets
