Jennifer Fimbres

Post Apocalyptic Chronicles of a Misanthropic Teen

Do you remember when zombies were all the rage, when everyone was talking about a zombie apocalypse. I once saw a car that had a large Umbrella Corporation symbol on the hood. It was painted with blood splatters and said ‘Zombie killing machine’ on the driver side door. It was rolling through the grocery store parking lot. It was pretty epic at the time. Back then you played the one weapon game. ‘If a zombie apocalypse happened you could only choose 1 weapon, what would it be?’ Nearly everyone thought Daryl from The Walking Dead TV show had it right with the crossbow. Boy, were they wrong. It had to be the bad boy image with the sweet home Alabama heart. I totally loved him in Boondock Saints. That being said, when it comes to zombie killing a cross bow is a no go, you’re not fucking cool Daryl. I, however, chose the “oh Fuck” and run method. Seems to work better then Daryl’s dumb ass cross bow. Zombies are only dangerous for the first few months after death when they have muscle tone. They are fucking slow after that. They can barely hold themselves together and just gnaw on you if you get caught. They are more gross than anything. A lot of people kind of lose it after getting surrounded by a group of zombies chomping at you.