Hayley Matto
Bio
Just a 26yr old processing the š one sh*tty poem at a time. Need human connection or just killing time?
Read some thoughts by She.
-P.S. thatās me.
Insta: @thoughts.by.she š¤ Thanks for tuning in! Much Love.
Shout Out to ViM š¤ Love 'em.
Stories (35)
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Camouflage . Top Story - February 2024.
Grief never stops. She simply camouflages herself in different forms, daring you to challenge facing it, day after day. Sometimes sexy and alluring, we all enjoy a moment of self soothing, allowing what feels like release to wash over us-out of us, through tears, wails, cries, steps, stomps, dulled screams into feather fluffed pillows. Shameless, near infantile, reverting back primitively or perhaps to a state of childlike sorrow. Unable to express verbally the issue at hand, and coos and cuddles only go so far for so long. Lets face it, what are we as adults besides big kids playing pretend with our words, and having no one to patiently coddle us when we unexplainably sob.
By Hayley Matto2 years ago in Psyche
27 Club. Content Warning.
Today they released Kurt Cobain's autopsy results. He died on your birthday 3 years before you were born. I think that shakes you up inside. Leads you to believe you are connected to him somehow. In the same way millions of others connect to his music all around the world.
By Hayley Matto2 years ago in Humans
Cheers to Getting Over It...
Dear 2024, This year will be all about getting over. That's right, getting over any and all things that stood in my way, or that I allowed to define me despite not being things from me. As well as my reaction to these forces that I didn't use to grow from, learn from... This year I will be getting over, growing with, because of? I will choose to Heal from.
By Hayley Matto2 years ago in Poets
You Never Cease To Amaze Me
You never cease to amaze me with how much pain you can bring me, nearly a year since I moved to follow your dreamā¦ and I'll admit I chased you. I wanted to be healed enough to support your dream and I really thought I was. Even if that meant absorbing mine and pushing past the discomfort of pursuing someone elses dream that didn't quite fit or even went against ones own souls beckon call. I believe now that the issue lay with you- you weren't done adding new wounds to not just me, but also yourself. You didn't have your goals alligned, nor the vulnerability to understand with reward comes sacrifice. Instead, like a true Aries, you paraded yourself around as the tough guy, fire ablaze with passions on the line, willing to take down anything and anyone that stood in your way. When in reality you were small, meak, full of disillusionment and too defeated that all you could do was throw a fit when the world and me didn't serve up your cake on a golden platter, dressed to the nines or in your preference- not clothed at all. You wanted me and everyone else in your network to bare it all, naked, raw and vulnerable. You constantly held expections for people to be authentically themselves... until their authentic was no longer appealing to you, "boring" you would often dub your latest conquest. Reducing all those around you to characters, pawns, players in your world. Supporters, lovers, fuck toys, comfort providers, usables that were in fact flushable... you washed us all down the drain the second our 'genuine' didn't conform to your amusement. The stupid ones like myself attempted to people please our way back into your appeals. We'd hold up large signs screaming like ditzy cheerleaders for you, bent the way we lived our lives to better fit yours; some sort of twisted delusion all our own to try and work with you? For you? Knowing somewhere deep inside it would never ever be enough and that chasetisment from you would be right around the corner, brandishing our attempts, telling us how foolish we were to break our genuine to try and fit yours, that that wasn't attractive, sexy, appealing. Reversing what the entire attempt we did was made to do. Instead we fell farther and farther apart.
By Hayley Matto2 years ago in Poets
Wrung Me Dry
I would have never chosen anyone over you. Despite the fact that you never gave me grace. You said you waited for me but we both know you were born without patience, you did no waiting. You borrowed my time, used me and wrung me dry, and once I became tattered and didn't bend back fluffy and new from the drying line, you found me ugly, stiffened, not realizing you did the using. Told me to sort it out, foot the dry cleaning bill and return new or as close to it as I could. Even though I had been the one used to clean up all your messes. Losing bits of myself all along the way. Sopping and soaking up, cushioning and cleansing, wash, rinse, and repeating with you. Allowing whatever cycle you were in to run it's full course. Again
By Hayley Matto2 years ago in Poets
Glass Ceiling. Top Story - December 2023.
I bet you didn't know you built a glass ceiling pane by pane- pain by pain... -during our relationship. Something invisible, made by words never spoken, and feelings that lived on tips of tongues and died silently slipping out on defeated exhales. Fragile feelings becoming hard and tempered like heat treated glass, clearer and harder to break with every fight, every night spent going to bed still angry, stubborn stumbles of half assed appologies, and midnight "sex-capades". Love drunk and sorrow filled hoping all can be forgiven? Forgotten? By an act that may or may not be remembered come daylight.
By Hayley Matto2 years ago in Poets
faulty signals
I'd like to tell you I'm on my period and that's why I have been crying for an unknown better portion of my day. I'm a girl and I'm emotional- is why I'm breathing heavy and sniffling hard. I've just gone through a tragic breakup, someone died, my parents are divorcing, someone I love has cancer...
By Hayley Matto5 years ago in Psyche
